Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.
woainishamu 21
That's just how he shows his love warmly.
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Comments (81)
perdix 31
And, yet, it still smelled better than dorm food.
siggy_mcsigx 22
"Piercing" fart? Haha!
sweetdeem 4
This sounds like something that my brother would do to my nephew. Mike, is that you?
JMichael 26
Best way to a mans heart is to learn to love his gas. Your dad is teaching you early.
MrBoredomioo 18
Just remember my advice: Get him back by visiting his house, taking a crap, then leaving.
mzdaisylynn 12
Thats such a dad thing to do. Once when my dad was on the phone with my mom, he put the phone to his butt and farted. Nice, huh?
LittleMagicWolf 7
Sounds like something my father would do :/ sorry
myeviltwin 20
He probably didn't do it on purpose, more likely it was just a happy coincidence :)
cloudsofneon 5
Yeah I'm sure he was holding it in just waiting for you to walk through the door. Grow up.
worldclassrager 41
What a welcome...that shouldn't happen again...