Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Peter griffin doing this to Meg, anyone? Lol. What a douche thing to do.
woainishamu 21
That's just how he shows his love warmly.
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Comments (81)
mpsteve137 15
He farts and apparently you squirt (judging by your name) So we're all gross
Wizzlbang 10
Give him some credit, he must have been holding that in for awhile.
Ins0mau 20
Since August, apparently.
napalm_uniqorn 27
That sounds exactly like what my dad would do...but would most likely be accompanied by "pull my finger" afterwards.
StompinOnCrayons 15
The more smelly the fart the more he wants to welcome you home, and remind you of the sweet scent of your childhood house.
Zimmington 21
Did he you blow you away?
PoofTopComment 4
What a warm welcome! let's just hope it was only warm and not in any way wet...
buckdharma 38
Did you really think that dad had changed? Don't hold your breath. Or do hold your breath. Yes, definitely do!
cmac86 24
welcome home, Meg.
mjt123 7
Hey, everyone, did you know what font this is? It's Arial dark! Dick
StompinOnCrayons 15
u wot m8
KasiaLilith 13
Hope you responded with a long loud burp!