Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML
Planned parenthood
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Top comments
Ravensmoon666 19
Oh wow, he's an asshole.
Redoxx_fml 22
What a pig, her fiancé that is
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Comments (121)
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
if it makes you feel better I'm pregnant too. last night dinner was salad with ranch dressing and waffles :(
thenewgirl29 20
I am olives with prunes and hummus. Seriously, wtf.
DocBastard 40
That's funny, the only pig I see is him. Besides, everyone knows your nickname should be "Moo Moo".
SweetasCandy0609 28
dang doc Bastard you had me all up into the end.
asnakelovinbabe 16
I laughed! People on FML seem to have no sense of humor or tolerance of sarcasm. It's such a weird community here.
DocBastard 40
Hey, I need to have comments buried every now and then. If I don't offend people with my jokes, then I've failed as a commenter.
JMichael 26
Can I start calling you Wilbur?
QueenQuay77 10
no
queerdragon 20
Tell him you don't like the name and don't wish to be called after the sound farm animals make. However, on account you are willing to let this guy inseminate and marry you, I feel like this may be a case of hormones making you feel more sensitive than you would normally be. My sister, when pregnant, could not handle anyone making any sort of comment or joke about her. I said, "You look ready to pop" two days before she was due and she tried to punch me. Her boyfriend at the time said, "Babe, you look beautiful today." She burst into tears and said, "I am not a pig and I should look beautiful all the time." Your fiance has likely not changed in the time you have known him, so he has likely made jokes like this before. Either speak to him about the jokes or make them back at him. He should not call you a pig, but... it could be like when people call big guys "Tiny John" or tell skinny girls to "move your big ass." You know its not true, but you make a joke to show you care in a weird way.
thrifting 18
tl;dr
blakers1000 3
thats okay when my wife was pregnant with twins she gave herself the nickname of pregie boss woddles.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
weird, I didn't write that ^^^
novapine 19
she gave herself the nickname. that's the difference between that and op.
twiztedone 19
That's different, she did not you.
Loboman 6
What do you expect when you are pregnant and unmarried, prince charming?
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
rude !
abeg157 14
I heard a lot of stupid things came out of people's mouths when they got pregnant. However, I always assumed it was the lady saying it.
squidgy787 22
OP, this was a misguided attempt at making light of the growing baby bump. When I was pregnant my boyfriend and I had great fun seeing how many different items we could balance on the gigantic portable table I was waddling around with. It's very likely that he meant no harm by it. If it actually bothers you, tell him you're self conscious about your weight gain and find his nickname hurtful. I bet if he knew it actually hurt your feelings, he'd stop. Or you smell like bacon. Or he's slightly evil.
cakefete2 31
Damn OP, you're marrying a five year old.
novapine 19
cut it down before it gets worse. that is absolutely no way to treat someone who's going to get bigger because of him. cut it down or prepare for a lot worse.
KushCrushin89 10
I don't think it's fair to blame him solely for her getting bigger. It does take two ya know.