Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML
Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML
Today, I discovered that my sister coloured in the pages of my college text books with Sharpie as "revenge." FML
Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
abc2601 20
Is the monkey okay?
invadermaythe1st 35
Bit over the top...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
lexyboddy 6
I have a price of graph ite in my hand too its been there since an accident in 4th grade it hasn't caused any problems and I'm now in 9th grade
OpposingKilljoy 14
murder is a serious offense.
pheonixfire13 17
Yea it never comes out I still have a bit from kindergarten sticking my finger
skylera1111 2
If she starts talking about anything out of a horror movie, run.
Maks Lesniewski 7
Is she a kid? Either way, she probably got issues.