Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three of the four stalls were occupied in the restroom. I took the fourth stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I heard, "Hey, how's it going?" I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cgart96 15
You didn't say anything back, did you?
DocBastard 40
A real man can appreciate good flatulence. Especially from a woman.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
ToySoldier92 7
Nice. :D
mif_fml 27
At least he didn't bang on the stall door and say, "I smell someone making sin!"
NeatNit 33
I'll bet everyone would be voting YDI if it was a man in a women's bathroom... In fact, I believe this has already happened on FML.
AdamsNumberOne 16
Wouldnt the urinals make it obvious that it was the mens restroom?
dawnimus 21
Not if you dived into a stall right away because you were desperate!
DKjazz 20
#16- That FML was from July of last year. I'm surprised people still remember it. Good FML, that one.
EphMi 5
either that or the man was in the ladies bathroom.
cgart96 15
You didn't say anything back, did you?
GodPart2 20
If she had, it could have been the beginning of a really bad **** plot
omgitsmoe 26
I'd watch that !
omgitsmoe 26
2 kids 1 stall
Traitoro 9
Guess we know what the moe stands for 49...
junkman6 22
Thanks... I just googled moe. I feel dirty.
ballplaya52 10
I would've clapped.
TordNorski 30
Take it as a compliment.
DocBastard 40
A real man can appreciate good flatulence. Especially from a woman.
Celestyna 16
Not mine, he hates it
ItsMeDiegoG 8
How did you not know it was a men's restroom?
extrasnipes 22
Let's be honest who wasn't walked in the wrong washroom before. But then again you usually walk right out.
gracehi 33
You'd think the urinals would have tipped her off before she made it to the stall, though.
Kamon97 23
Hey when you gotta go you gotta go.
jazzy_123 20
I'm not sure if all men's restrooms look the same, but maybe the stall was closer to the door and she went in before noticing where she was.
mpkpm 19
Well, for your future knowledge..almost every men's restroom have urinals before the stalls. But then again there are a few without urinals altogether.
Nikkitaria 9
Maybe she was wearing pants that day.
kenyrabit 25
Oh? I thought those were just bidets!
prljm10 10
I guess you make the People of Walmart list for being a woman in a men's bathroom and farting really loud! Good job! This means you probably look like someone off that list too!
FemskyD 26
Haha i once met a casting director i was About to audition for in the wrong bathroom xD
jazzy_123 20
you were going to audition for a role in the bathroom? O,o
alicexo_fml 8
It's much more likely that she was at the meeting place and had to use the restroom before the audition... Duh?
sykokitti 15
we already have to deal with a face like that in "it's always sunny in Philadelphia"
validator 12
Probably one of them "fake casting " they do for **** lol
ocramavaf 15
he must have felt emasculated when he found out you were a woman
zandalee 20
Best comment!!!
llamarrama01 21
You've been accepted into the gender