Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
n_london 0
this is a classic fml. that really sucks. and who the **** votes YDI on this?
kingbob337 0
ouch ouch ouch
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (155)
curryndricegirll 0
i don't get the big deal about the cheese grater though. i mean all the cheese graters i have...you'd have to be pressing down really really hard for it to hurt. i mean, even if you were grating cheese, it's not enough for you to jerk your hand away. doesn't make sense to me, but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and go with FYL.
omgwhatanfml 0
idiot...have you ever grated cheese? u have to push down for it to grate and it does to your hand what it does to the cheese. EXACTLY. He would put his hand up like "****!!" then gets stabbed :o
Linzzification 0
I've grated my thumb many times, I have battle wounds! It sucky
curryndricegirll 0
actually, i have, and i've never had that happen to me jackass. that's why i was asking
iandevaan 0
YDI for being a Black mother ****** you son of a bitch go suck a **** now go **** yourself. You ****** queer! Who gets sliced by a ****** cheese grater you ****
where_i_stood 0
wtf? You have problems.
glassisass 0
i think she was pucking because its kinda nasty thing that happend to the op.
orlandogirl4life 11
owww im sorry! fyl indeed. feel better soon! =)
orlandogirl4life 11
.
blechblech 0
dude that blows FYL
Nacirema20 0
Owie!!! ;-( that really sux. ;(
jesscad 0
Grosssss. I'm sorry.
lovethewordnerd 0
I modded this one! I'm so sorry this happened to you... feel better soon!
ALittleBirdToldM 0
ouch): im sorry. hope u feel better soon(: