Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Sussy Baka
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
Not now
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML
Halloween came early
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML
Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML
Death at one's elbow
Today, I found out that for the past 6 months I have been sleeping next to a dead body. The cremated body of my landlord's father. It was hidden inside a wardrobe that I was not supposed to use. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Why are we even here?
Today, my parents told me that we were going to go and see my uncle, who lives very far away. I got excited, until I realized they fucking lied so I would attend the funeral of an acquaintance of my father, whom I had never met in my life, and he only met a couple times. This is why I have trust issues. FML
Top comments
perdix 31
I'm sure it was weird for the first few months as the corpse was rotting, but your kid shoud be OK now that he's just down to a skeleton. Skeletons are cooler than teddy bears.
ebdeadaccount 11
At least you know he has caring teachers
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Comments (174)
ebdeadaccount 11
At least you know he has caring teachers
airforce987 20
Man, **** teachers and their oversensitivity and overreactions. When I was in school, even 10-15 years ago teachers barely gave a shit about their kids. I can understand the concern, but was it necessary to call CPS immediately? Maybe get some more information before taking such a drastic act, like ASKING the child about it. Stupid ******* teachers, mind your own goddam business. Go ahead and thumb me down people. I'm just sick of how oversensitive and thin-skinned people are today. Can't say a single word in public without someone hearing it and getting offended or reacting negatively towards you.
Bravesfan319 11
:UMADBRO:
ThisIsMyReign 4
71 - Amen. CPS is a little to extreme. In Va. Beach CPS don't even care about your kid just the paycheck. They mistreated my brother and didn't know how to handle him. He has down syndrome so you would think it's required to know about it...nope, they just dragged him when he would pout and such. YLS for having a child with a over reacting teacher with no thought process.
KaiserSD 8
It's not a teachers job to raise a child. It's the parents job. My taxes pay you to teach my child an education, not stick your big ass nose in my business.
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Op, buy the kid a new bed! I would feel uncomfortable if I had to sleep in that bed too.
Drigr 9
The thing is, teachers are required by LAW to report things that could be seen as abusive. My senior english teacher had us write in a journal every day about ourselves and made it very clear that if we revealed an act of abuse she HAD to report it.
airforce987 20
Of course 106, I completely understand that. My father is a doctor and has the same obligation. But why didn't the teacher get more information first? She just assumed and wasted both OP's and the CPS' time for a stupid reason.
evilplatypus 39
141 - I teach and I was told once we suspect abuse, we aren't allowed to talk to the child about it; we had to report it to the admin and social services IMMEDIATELY. The rationale was that talking to the child (especially younger, impressionable children) might cause them to become confused and remember things incorrectly; kind of like leading a witness in court.
airforce987 20
I'm sorry 149, but if a child tells me how they are abused, my first reaction isn't to shut my mouth and run away, it's to ask a simple, "what do you mean?" or "why do you feel uncomfortable?"
evilplatypus 39
153 - It doesn't matter what your reaction would be; I'm telling you what social services told me is my legal obligation.
airforce987 20
155 **** legal obligation. I vote for common sense
Shadowkatt 0
there is a difference between 'caring' and 'nosy'. screw cps. more often than not children are taken away from the good parents.
SquiddlyDiddly 4
Agreed- "Screw CPS." It's all about money. CPS gets paid while families are torn apart.
golfman717 0
Not many are...
thatoneguy79 10
158) While I can understand your sentiment, not following the right protocols can end with a child NOT being removed from a dangerous situation because the necessary burden of proof was not met and the appropriate agencies would have no legal bearing to intervene. I'm pretty sure no one wants that, so procedures were put in place to minimize the risk of that happening. Unfortunately, common sense is not legally binding.
littlecuntcats 6
My mom is a Kindergarten teacher and she has to report anything weird kids say. If they don't, they can be held responsible. Don't get angry at them for not wanting to get fired and/or jail time.
tylercarolinex 21
I get what you mean #71, but at the end of the day you hear stories like baby P where teachers did mind their own business and it was too late. Better safe than sorry.
perdix 31
I'm sure it was weird for the first few months as the corpse was rotting, but your kid shoud be OK now that he's just down to a skeleton. Skeletons are cooler than teddy bears.
perdix 31
Cool story, Noor, but I was thinking "Psycho." ;)
TaysDarkLust 11
I was thinking of House Of 1000 Corpses. Lol.
biggestfan23 11
A Rose For Emily was one twisted poem
therealslim 15
Does Emily's rose happen to be twisted around your head, Noor?
Penguin1942 0
I was thinking the "Noor can shut up" poem...
bubbywaldo 0
I think the "penguin can shut up" poem has more literary merit.
olpally 33
Penguin only has 37 comments... Cut him some slack... But penguin, shut up... Noor is one of the best commenters and if you're just trolling, gtfo and come back with better comments you tool bag! *rant over*
kelseygoesrawr 8
"A Rose For Emily" is a short story, not a poem.
rosha267 21
Thank you Kelsey! I was wondering what everyone was talking about calling it a poem
Leadamp 7
Does anyone else find it unusual that both perdix and docbastard are back commenting at the same time.
dude1122332 9
Who?
_ebbonyy 11
It's funny how children's words can be interpreted in suuuuch the wrong way! Regardless, such an awkward thing to talk your way out of so, FYL
docscientist 10
Especially in this hypersensitive, every strange man is a child molester day and age.
eragon2262 6
very true, but not all kids say stuff like that and don't understand it could be taken badly. my dad told his teacher that his mom was a drunk and there was never any food in the house and he had to take care of his family as an excuse to get out of homework xD
eragon2262 6
some kids say things on purpose too just because of the things that happen. my dad told his teacher once that his mom was a drunk and that he had to take care of his sisters in order to get out of homework next say his mom opens the door to human services. parents can get in big trouble when kids do that.
nado13579 12
Reminds me of the old FML of the boy that said "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." to his dad's boss after a spanking.
ManInTheMachine 20
Aww, miscommunication is a bitch. But why would your son be talking about his bed at school?
ManInTheMachine 20
I forgot to add: And how would he know it's his deceased uncle's bed unless you told him?
ManInTheMachine 20
elenasbrazilian: You're absolutely right. I'm half awake right now, hence the stupid questions. Lemme come back on in a couple of hours when I'm all there. :)
horseraddish 4
Stop posting
MissMae93 23
30 - In total, Man has commented 1043 times. You have commented 8 times. Now if you can do the math, clearly Man has been around much longer than you have. Here on FML, you'll meet people such as Noor, Perdix, DocBastard (to names a few, the list goes on) who you treat with respect as they possess higher "FML status" than you. Get past the 100 comment marker BEFORE telling others to "stop commenting". ;)
sirpantselot 22
In fairness, at that point in this particular thread, it was good advice.
ManInTheMachine 20
33: I appreciate the defense, but I wouldn't put myself up there with Noor, DocBastard and Perdix. Not even close. I wouldn't expect anyone to respect me just because I have a certain number of comments. Maybe because of the substance of the comments, but nothing more. He can voice his opinion, even if it's disagreeable. P.S x=194 194+750=943 ;)
ManInTheMachine 20
*944
MissMae93 23
37 - Farts, usually I forget to carry the 1, guess I got too excited. Anyways, I just like putting people in their place. :)
Ajwc101 24
#30 Don't be a jerk.
instnt1nfction 17
I'll volunteer to be on Man's side.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I spy some keyboard warriors... Quit doing my job!
alikayanna 0
I was not aware that FML had some sort of Highschool hierarchy where certain people are always right just because they comment more frequently. Although I will say, DocBastard is a legend ;)
HairyPunisher 27
MissMae93, while I agree that horseraddish's comment was off topic, I don't completely agree with your notion and insinuation of an FML hierarchy here. I mean while most of us enjoy DocBastard and perdix's posts they are by no means royalty. And you never know how many people have been coming to the site daily and didn't make a user name until recently. I myself have been coming here almost daily since 2008 but I didn't make a user name til a few months back. Maybe horseraddish has been lurking who knows.
Pentium_4 27
it's annoying but every regular commenter gets haters that tell them to stop
horseraddish 4
I know this is not part of Internet protocol - for a nobody to tell a somebody things like stop posting - but if someone posts a thousand times and then makes a shit post, it doesn't stop that post from being shit. Noor makes shit posts as well. So does everyone. But if someone is a habitual shit poster, they need to stop posting.
DespairFaction 11
So why are you still posting?
Pandacupcakelove 26
Mustache for the win!^
KiddNYC1O 22
Someone woke up with an alarming lack of common sense this morning...
cinderella10383 6
Miss Mae that's absolutely absurd. Respect is earned not given. I don't care if someone has commented a million times!!
cami197934 3
Wow, get a life maybe?
False_Stupidity 42
I don't think anyone has told me to stop posting yet 102 and I'm up to 933 comments so far. *waits for it
False_Stupidity 42
Awww, thank you.. And I feel extra special that it came from you Noor. :-)
nephilim241 19
You should have replaced the bed, would you want to sleep in the bed of someone who passed away??
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm not sure which is worse: Sleeping in the bed of a deceased relative, or in the bed your mother gave birth in.
DjeePee 25
The majority of mother gives birth in a hospital, and I doubt that many people have that specific bed in their house. My mother has promised me her bed for when I'm leaving the house. It's a gorgeous thing, nice and comfortable, so I absolutely don't mind sleeping in it. Neither would I if the bed belonged to a dead person. It's not poisened - or so I would hope.
ManInTheMachine 20
15-Haha I agree. I was just making an FML reference. I wanted to indicate it, but I accidentally hit send, and I can't edit from my Android phone.
perdix 31
#15, you know, when people die, they often lose control of their bowel and bladder. If your mom croaks in her bed, you may want to replace the mattress.
Tali147 16
My bed is the bed that my great grandmother died in. It's not weird to be because it is the most comfortable bed I've ever had. When I die, I want to die in that bed.
courtneyann211 10
Honestly, I can't find where OP said the uncle passed away while being in that bed
Tali147 16
43 - True it doesn't say that the uncle actually died in that bed. He could have died in the hospital or even in a car accident or anywhere.
perdix 31
#43 and 51, you are both right that it doesn't say anywhere that the uncle died in the bed, but it's more fun to assume that he did. Look at my comment, #2. I go even one further and make the absurd assumption that no one even moved the uncle's dead body from the bed. Of course, it's not true, but I found the concept hilarious.
MidnaLink 35
43 and 51 if it helps, my great aunt died in a hospital, but i didn't even want to enter her bedroom for the first little while, and i still don't want to
zojieeu 6
#15 Then what is the mask for :(
zombicidal 11
he should enjoy his haunted bed
NeDaroft 5
That's so weird! I wouldn't even want to be in that room..
l0v3p4in 7
Let alone the bed...
mackdeezy 22
Damn, poor kid must really miss his uncle
gurly98 13
Yes but can't he forget about it by now When my grandma passed I was kinda sad but I lived life anyway. Sometimes idk what this has to do with the story *I know I'm gonna get thumbed down gulp*
thesubconscious 9
Yeah I took that the wrong way too
Pandacupcakelove 26
Wow, that must have been an uncomfortable experiance :( But I guess it's good that you know there are people who would get him help if he was going through stuff...