Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my alarm went off at 6:30am. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year-old guy. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, while I was asleep, my three-year-old cousin wet the bed again. MY bed. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML
Today, I'm staying at my parents' house. I was woken up by the fan in my bedroom falling down. I calmly picked it back up and went to bed, wondering why my parents weren't concerned at all. My mom said she figured it was nothing, and when my dad tried to say something, she retorted, "You didn't even wake up!" FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
So many questions! Does your cousin have "issues?" Are you male or female? Why does your mom want to keep it secret? Why are you having sleepovers with weird cousins?
Charlie Given 28
I think you should get a lock for your door and if your mom is telling you not to say anything about it then this isn't the first time he has done something like this. There is some serious red flags a flying here.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
So many questions! Does your cousin have "issues?" Are you male or female? Why does your mom want to keep it secret? Why are you having sleepovers with weird cousins?
dragonladiesfire 19
I want a follow up too lol. sooo many questions and not enough answers lol
demix_fml 32
Well that’s not creepy in anyway
Alyssa Bowen 6
when and where? I have a bat for the creeper
RichardPencil 32
One of those coronavirus bats for the cousin to eat?
ahabsfan 17
He was just tucking in his shirt.
Charlie Given 28
I think you should get a lock for your door and if your mom is telling you not to say anything about it then this isn't the first time he has done something like this. There is some serious red flags a flying here.
ZoeyBeth 9
Um, serious red flags and we need more information, we have a lot of gaps. I hope that you are okay.
Mami 8
i think *someone* watching a lot of ****
SJKatt 15
Tell EVERYONE in your family, every time you see him. Loudly wonder why he's such a creep. Make your family uncomfortable. "Just pretend it never happened" oh my GOD
crashtestdumplin 16
I almost stabbed my brothers friend for doing the same thing. I always slept with a knife under my pillow, and one day I woke up and he was watching me sleep and I immediately sprang into stabbing mode. But not to worry, no one was harmed.