Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML
Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML
Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, within 24 hours at my new security job, I accidentally tasered the head of security in the groin, causing him to piss himself. FML
Today, at work, I tripped and fell face-first into a food display. As I picked myself up, totally humiliated, I tripped again and fell right back into it, earning a bunch of pitying looks from nearby customers. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML
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Top comments
Torva_fml 16
What a romantic! He sure knows how to get a lady...
cradle6 13
What an asshole. You should have yelled, "KISS MY ASS!" Oh wait...
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Comments (135)
Ballin8864 4
LOL. #70. ;D
GoW_Chick 15
If he offers to take you to his 'special' place make sure you're polite and offer to bring the snacks.
MCharmed2012 3
Tell him that when you fell, it scared the crap out of you literally --- that should get rid of him. If it doesn't, stay far-far away from him. He's a nasty man. :p
jroxursox1 10
I'm healed!! It's a miracle!! *runs away*
JukeboxValkyrie 19
Offer to have someone kiss his shin better after you kick him.
VivaLaAris707 0
Dahell? Yeah that's creepy alright!
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
Your accidental reply: Kiss my ass!
StalinsHeir 1
I would have offered to pound it better ;) (depending on how fine you are of course)
redhedsaysrawr 18
ROFL! reminds me of the time i went on an away trip with school, and during lunch i asked this older employee by the drinks table if the tea was sweet or unsweet, his reply was "yeah that tea is sweet... just like me..." in the creepiest voice you could imagine... needless to say i stayed far away from the guy for the rest of the trip lol.
hateevryone 15
creeeepy