Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
Today, I was at the market when a guy started telling the man I was with how "curly-haired women are an adventure," saying what he would do to a woman like me. He was talking to my father. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
dawnie1001 0
Rape is not about sexual gratification, but power and degradation. Attractiveness has nothing to do with it.
Suckerslap 0
At least your brother stood up for you?
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Comments (84)
Suckerslap 0
At least your brother stood up for you?
thabeast 0
yeah I think a "thank you" is in order
volleyballgirl16 0
i agree, plus most brothers would say that dont take personally he was just helping
I_Piss_Glitter 0
Exactly. He's being a brother. This in no way ***** your life.
greenltrn2003 0
that might have made her feel good...but then she wouldnt be going anywhere for the rest of her life, seeing how crazy the father is.
birds_fml 7
Yeah! In my case, my mom was giving me the you could get raped lecture when I was going to meet a guy from the internet, and my brother chimed in "You can't rape the willing!"
Lmao_xD 0
wow. not a 'fml' situation. yur bro is standing up for u
bgukusa00 0
i think thaz mean of him to say poor u =( but if he was just protecting u i dont see any point of u posting this here
B4SK3TB4IL 0
talk to u in therapy after the rape
Billa_Bang 0
lol yea
cutebebe778 0
Wow, you should be thankful for that. Do you wanna get raped? Seriously, what kind of mindset are you in?
shutuplikenoway 0
I think that should be taken more as a compliment than an insult.
genius_man16 1
That's what my thought is "Today, I learned that I can't get raped. FML" i mean, what?
heyyou1203 0
that is so false! anyone can get raped! rapists don't care about how pretty a woman is, but how vulnerable they are. rapists don't want to put up a fight, because they're cowards. i'm not trying to scare people by saying "everyone can get raped, you will, too!" but merely to say that no one's immune to it, especially based on their looks or how they dress.
shutuplikenoway 0
People take these comments way to seriously. It's annoying how some get into the fact that she was saying she wanted to be raped. Or that she can't even get a rapist to have sex with her. Whatever the case may be, the comment doesn't need to be factual and say that rape is about power and not sex and blah blah blah. While this would make a very good thesis, it makes a horrible comment. Most comments should consist of: hahaha, FYL, you're screwed, I'm sorry; something to that effect. But this is just my opinion of course and people will do as they please and feel they need to prove their point because "they are always right".
adorepink86 0
43 I love what you said! Why do people get so upset over FML'S? Like why does everyone care so badly.
regalarius 0
#40 - I agree with everything you said except 'rapists want to put up a fight.' I understand that a number do, and that is in fact what they're looking for. Or maybe I'm getting rapists confused with serial killers. Meh. There's probably some overlap. Oh, and OP - Sounds to me like your brother was just trying to help you out. I wouldn't take that personally.
heyyou1203 0
I actually said "rapists DON'T want to put up a fight..." but no worries. honest mistake. And the reason people take shit seriously is maybe because we actually have hearts? everyone else not caring about issues like this is what causes them to continue to be issues in our world. Yea making a comment on FML isn't going to change the world, but maybe it can correct some of the ignorance you seem to have :-P
shutuplikenoway 0
All I meant to convey was my opinion about how people get so angry over the stupidest of things, especially on here. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. And I would appreciate you not calling me ignorant considering you have no clue who I am or what I have been through. All you are doing is proving my point about how people feel that they need to feel superior to others and make sure they're never wrong. By the way, this is just a joke site and things are meant to be taken with a grain of salt. People don't need to be over-thinking things when all the OP is trying to do is tell a funny story.
heyyou1203 0
some of the FML's i've read have been about people getting dumped or cheated on in pretty nasty ways. I don't think they consider that a joke. and i didn't mean to say you personally were ignorant, but just some of the people who make stupid comments, the type of comments that lead people to react strongly. there's a fine line between making a joke and being offensive and insulting.
shutuplikenoway 0
Yes, that is true. Sometimes the subjects in question are a bit harsh. But I don't think the OP always wants thing to be taken so seriously; otherwise they wouldn't post on a site entitled FMyLife. I do believe that there is a time and a place to discuss such serious topics, but I do not believe that place is on this website.
Rach_star 0
lollll
Thabb 0
How come everyone thinks all rapists are men? I know most are but the women that do never ever get charged for sexual assult or anything, it's basically against the law for a female to get charge for that. Many situations men end up in get them charged for sexual assult, yet women come out clean in the same situation.
Terilyn4500 0
haha.. well that could be a good thing
22cute 17
Rape is NOT about sexual attraction. Rape is about Violence, power, and control. Anyone can get raped!
katherinebby17 28
your brother is messed up he didn't have to say that
whitepeople 0
i guess if you can't get normal people, or rapists, maybe your brother would be in your league?
123sploosh 0
go away you disgust me
CFR 0
hear hear #50!
StzaCrack666 18
whitepeople also disgust ne
epicfail13337 4
Sad, even rapists won't go for you. You must be really, really ugly to your brother. I've heard of very ugly people getting raped.
AAAAHHHH12 2
Were you one of these "very ugly people"? Just a guess.
writergirl23 19
Hey, since when does any brother think his teenage sister is pretty?
um_duh 0
Its a good thing
balkangiirl 0
Don't take it personally, most rapists are horrible human beings otherwise they wouldn't take advantage of any woman/man (Hey, it could happen).
Mvibes 0
yeah it does happen (sometimes women rape men...but men usually dont report it).
timtam24 0
if a man's pathetic enough to get raped he deserves it
melophilia 0
...MOST rapists are horrible?
writergirl23 19
Haha lol 127. And yes, sometimes boys get raped by women. I'll bet those poor boys aren't seen as '*******'.
drinkupgorgeous 0
And why is this a bad thing?
dawnie1001 0
Rape is not about sexual gratification, but power and degradation. Attractiveness has nothing to do with it.
22cute 17
Thank you for saying it! I can't believe so few know this.