Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML
Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend. When his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and I thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away, I heard her say, "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better." FML
Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML
Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
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Top comments
Lolbrittany 0
AWKWARD TURTLE.
CDS09 0
wow, thats awkward, so is your mom going for a younger guy or you an older? Either way thats just weird
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Comments (103)
Lolbrittany 0
AWKWARD TURTLE.
kindofgocrazy 0
Stole the words right outta my mouth.
spoo 24
I dont get "turtle"
Brittney_E 0
me either
ZleveL 0
YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET IT BITCH. ACCEPT IT. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ITS A ******* TURTLE. EXCEPT THST ITS ******* GREEN AND HAS A SHELL LIKE A HARD CONDOM. GET IT IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD AND MOVE THE **** ON WITH YOUR SHITTY AS FUCKPOT LIFE. Oh god I had caps lock on :O oops *surprised face*
steveakafranxy 7
81- you will probably be the first physical/cyber bully
fishing12345 2
No its awkward tuna
CDS09 0
wow, thats awkward, so is your mom going for a younger guy or you an older? Either way thats just weird
16274692 0
that's..quite funny.
Brooklynxman 0
Did she know that part beforehand, cause if so, thats a step over-the line. Did I say A step, I meant several.
plexico 4
THREESOME! It's going to be awkward for your dad that this guy is moving in and both his wife and daughter want to **** him. I guess for free plumbing services, it's worth it! The pros can always do a much better job with the snake than us amateurs.
DameGreyWulf 1
Ahurrhurr... better job with the snake. Man, OP, why in the world wouldn't she tell you before now? I mean, I can understand hiding a potential mate from children if you're unsure about how it'll work, but just suddenly popping up with moving in? She could have at least mentioned it while he was there.
mekeskidi_fml 0
This plumber is really lucky.
Shyman4ever 0
Lololoolololololololololololololol
I_Deserved_It 10
Rule of thumb: If the name of your occupation starts with the letter "P", you're gonna get laid and be featured in a porno.
FreddyLunch 0
Even paleontologist?
bladebot 0
President? Oh 'Bama! Poet? A poetry reading? I looooove poetry. Philosopher? He came. He saw. He came again. Pedologist? This guy asks you to soil your underwear before sex. Piano tuner? This person orgasms in middle C every time. Kinda creepy. Try it. Physicist? With your mom and the plumber, you can solve the three-body problem! Pediatrician? Let's not go there.
littlegolferboy 4
#14: I bestow upon you the reward of 10 Internets for making me laugh.
plexico 4
Yes, paleontologist. They really know how to handle old bones. Hot DILF action. Podiatrist? Paul Bunion swings his mighty axe. Foot fetish action. Provost? Hot coeds! Periodontist? You can't have good oral without healthy gums. Philatelist? Non-stop licking. Politician? Non-stop *******.
aback 5
Proctologist? Ew.
plexico 4
aback, I agree that proctologist is "ew," but anal is pretty popular **** (how's that for alliterative P's?) And bladebot, you can work in pediatrician without going illegal. The porno pens: MILF: Oh, doctor, thank you for saving my child. I don't have insurance although President Barack Obama is doing his best to help me but the awful Republicans and the Astroturf right-wing movement are preventing him from doing the what we put him in office to do, so how can I ever repay you? (Removes top.) This may get edited in post-production.
I_Deserved_It 10
Hmm... try jobs along the lines of: Police officer Pool boy Pizza delivery guy Plumber Professor Or Psychologist (http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF233-Psychoanalyst.jpg)
Intoxicunt 6
Hahaha, #14 FTW. But you deserve a better reward than internets. The internet is full of awful stuff.
chanman 0
Best FML comments ever. Props.
omgwtflolz 0
police officer? bondage! pool boy? he'll get you all wet,but he can also give you a towel to dry off! plumber? he can fix any leakage! professer? you can do math. he'll add the bed,you subtract your clothes,divide your legs,and you'll multiplyy!
wolfgold2 20
pizza delivery guy
GalaxyShots 21
Oh my god, you just made my life.
joeyl2008 29
I learned that from the pizza man
gregzav 0
FYL your step-dad is a plumber
PirateXxEsque 0
Hm. Your mum grew up in Queensland, yeah? Sucks to be you.
BadOwner 0
maybe you should clean his pipes, you know what i mean?