Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
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Top comments
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
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Comments (168)
DemosthenesMB 13
Well that blows.
Sangue0608 26
You're a little late to the party, that's been said a few times.
token_blackguy 18
There's a message here.
LouisvilleLuke 10
I would fall in love with anyone that blows on the first date
Sangue0608 26
I see you have exceptional standards.
bazookajoey 27
The first date?
kotake 7
What's it matter how or who knows? You love him and he loves you, does that not matter anymore? Granted you should have a good conversation with him about privacy and such, but does it really matter? And if anyone tries to hold it against you just stand proud OP, your bj skills got you the love of your life and you shouldn't regret that one bit.
Rylan1 7
YDI, for having a husband.
outoftown 27
Well, this one goes down... in the books as most memorable wedding speech.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well, I don't know if that' something that should have been done on a first date, but the main issue here is that that's something he shouldn't have shared with anyone else. That was a private moment between the two of you and it should have stayed that way. FYL
valentinov 15
#83 - stating the obvious was really cool in the '90s. Think about it. You should have made a toast also, sharing that you just love how he is so good at oral sex, and you feel bad that you can't return the favor as good as him. Now, this should put to rest any rumors about you, but start new rumors about both of you. Which is ok - that's what marriage is for.
sammyjanette 17
Geez, you let someone put their dick in your mouth after knowing them for maybe an hour or two? What if they had a disease? I can also, bet that he DIDN'T reciprocate.
Axel5238 29
Agreed, potentially could've been worse. Also to those that may comment regarding regardless of how one tries to justify it is still a bad idea. Just because it's your choice to make doesn't mean it's a good idea, and people can and will call you out particularly if have a history of making bad choices. They are calling you out, because they are concerned. Sometimes you have to be a little mean so they can realize it isn't a good idea and not brush it off.
Sangue0608 26
@84 just because it was the first date doesn't mean they just met.
Dif_fml 12
Looks like he won't be getting blown tonight.