Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
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Top comments
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
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Comments (168)
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
teotsi 28
Damn, you beat me to it.
hellnosucka 27
he blew up the speech... but then again, OP blew him up first, so I guess it's payback time.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
How the speech went, "once her tongue touched my penis, I knew she was the one."
the_truth_lives 9
I'm sorry OP, that blows
mike7800 8
should she be mad at him, or herself for blowing on the first date..? idk who has a larger lack of morals
kristabelli 19
I'd say that's grounds to cancel the damn wedding. I wouldn't even want to speak to him after that. (I'll bet he didn't get blown THAT night.)
flashback_fml 14
It sounds like she blew it just right
smokecloud_ 37
Sounds like 72 blew it way out of proportion..
poulkrebs 20
.
poulkrebs 20
You are blowing things out of proportion
Karenezzy 20
But she got the D
LCPLStewie 23
#72 you're freaking crazy and people who think like that are the reason 50% of married couples don't stay together any more... -_- he messed up so **** the wedding?
arandomusernameaa 20
Also aren't speeches usually after the ceremony... bit late to cancel by then...
kristabelli 19
I'm sorry, but he told EVERY PERSON OP KNOWS OR CARES ABOUT that she blew him on their first date. That's embarrassing private information and now likely the only thing a lot of them will be able to think about when they see her. Some people still think in terms of "she's a ****" especially older family members who were likely there. It's a big deal and I'm not sure I would want to marry someone who is so ******* insensitive.
kristabelli 19
Let me clarify - I don't think OP is a **** and I hate that word altogether. It shouldn't even exist. But I know a lot of people still erroneously think that way and there is no changing that.
LCPLStewie 23
That's still not an appropriate action to take. He was probably nervous out of his mind and had a bad idea to tell them their first date story.. If some one is so damn worried about what people think about them in front of people they prolly shouldn't be doing it with any one on the first date should they?
kristabelli 19
It's not about worrying what other people think. It's about OP's husband being an insensitive ass. And about him clearly not giving a shit about what OP's family thinks of her and not giving a shit about whether or not SHE cares what they think of her. (Not to mention being considerate of people's sensibilities. What about children at the wedding??)
nyctophobia 5
wasn't funny.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Sounds like Kanye West
Lebeaugars95 20
then he interrupted his own speech
brenton490 19
To say he's a gay fish.
BicBoi996 12
#YEEZUS
Lebeaugars95 20
'she gave the best head of all time'
mhc91 10
That's not a nice thing of him
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
No shit
rocker_chick105 31
Hmm, so weird to see something that isn't nice, especially on FML.
nyctophobia 5
so weird, you would point out the obvious.
bigboi00069 6
that sucks
lambda_fml 40
Blows, to be more precise.
belljars 22
God bless you
fivetimeslonger 24
Teehee
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
Yeshua_fml 19
She'll certainly land quickly on her knees after the divorce. ; )
Xacap 3
..mmm wedding speach ... Ohh she did blew me on our first date ... What a great ideA ... arrogant inconsiderate dumb asshole
Jiplo 18
Well, it could've been worse.
onlychildFTW 34
Well, it could've been better.
tralala453 22
How romantic.
Shmizlish 9
Maybe he meant she blew him away? It's easy to forget a few words when you're nervous.
lexiieeex3 32
Here's to hoping 99, here's to hoping.
Bzu123 8
he's a keeper
Shadowsofthedead 10
Thought it, but had the self-control not to post it. Thank you for doing it for me, #9.
gotaplanstan 28
she's*
Cass_x 22
well.. you married the guy...
guyssite 4
FMLs like this never cease to amaze me. There is no possible way on this earth that the wedding is the first time in their entire relationship that he was completely socially inappropriate. That sort of behavior doesn't just come out of the blue. And if OP decided to get married to the guy anyway, then she can hardly complain now that he's being socially inappropriate. And if she didn't know him long or well enough to already know this about him, then it's safe to say that she deserved it as well for rushing into marriage before they really got to know each other.
Axel5238 29
I can't like your comment enough. Stuff like this has warning signs, either a sense of humor where the guys thinks he's funny(but really a dick) and uses humor as an excuse why you shouldn't get mad. It's a joke right? It's amazing how many people get into long term relationships and are surprised when stuff like this comes up and say well I had know way of knowing. Lot of times you had warning you just ignored the signs.
adair112 15
thats love there and funny