Today, at my new job, I realized I have been spending too much time with just my cat. As I passed some coworkers in the hall, I nodded and gave them the "slow blink of trust" that is used with cats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML
Today, same as every morning recently, a neighbour's tabby cat showed up on my balcony. We've developed a routine where I say hello and he sits nearby for a few minutes. During the day, I learned it belongs to the woman I've been awkwardly avoiding in the elevator for two years. The cat likes me more than its owner does. FML
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I discovered my cat prefers my neighbour. I know this because she posted pictures of him on Instagram, captioned "My new baby." FML
Today, I was pretending a long corridor at work was a catwalk, when a coworker walked out just in time to see me prancing around like an idiot. Now the whole building is laughing about it. FML
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Top comments
Burle 17
Your cat is training you well
emeraldisle 30
There's no such thing as spending too much time with your cat.
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Comments (46)
emeraldisle 30
There's no such thing as spending too much time with your cat.
SpyroMello 29
Yes there is.
kyubi292 10
Nope
SpyroMello 29
Yes! Let the hate flow through you all. Dogs are better! MUAHAHAHA!
NewUsername 26
Okay, I know you're probably joking but I just have to say this. It pisses me off that people fight over if cats or dogs are better. Guess what? Neither is better and neither is worse. Everyone has an opinion and each opinion is valid. Yours is not worth more simply because you say it is.
luther48 20
Your opinion is worse than mine because I said so.
SpyroMello 29
#27 I think you're overthinking it. I'm not saying my opinion is better than hers or that dogs are factually better than cats. Take a joke, you live longer if you laugh more.
tigeresscrazy 12
Do you really think dogs are so much better then cats that you just had to do an evil laugh lol
Soninuva 41
Quit pussyfooting around the issue and come right out and say how you really feel.
Burle 17
Your cat is training you well
Tripartita 45
Just wait until you start making that kissing/squeak sound when you want to call somebody over. If you catch yourself in time, you can sort of look around quickly and play it off like you don't know where the sound came from. Yes, I have experience with this situation.
AceGthebest 16
I started doing that to my younger siblings after I got my puppy lol
catlady4eva 9
I did that to almost everyone I talked to when I first got my cat. Grew out of it quick thank god
trtnt25 19
I have almost no experience with babies so I would call for my younger cousins like they were a dog
tigeresscrazy 12
Did they actually come when you called lol
jbivens1992 17
As it has been said by a previous commenter, one can never spend to much time with their cat. But I feel your pain OP, I find myself doing that to my husband sometimes while we are talking. He meows at me to let me know I did it again lol.
tigeresscrazy 12
Sounds like your husband has fun picking on you about it lol he's definitely a keeper lol
hellnosucka 27
Everybody wants to be a cat
Ravenbird0072 11
Because a cats the only cat who knows where it's at!
Kalilahshmeow 8
This is not bad. It means if someone sees your slow blink and understands it, then they are good people and/or undercover cats.
Catdragon 40
Until you start eating cat food and meowing randomly throughout the day, I say you're good.
creditless 14
as long as u haven't rubbed against their legs and purred, I think there's still hope for u
delfino1604 24
omg.. i do this.