Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
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Top comments
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
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Comments (168)
fmlrulesBolt 14
Hahaha wow
831curmudgeon 7
When you willingly marry an idiot, you basically forfeit the ability to say "FML" when they do something idiotic.
nyctophobia 5
*****
xtalondriver 14
At least your husband has a wife who likes to suck his ****.
ifuckedupmylife 1
sucks to suck, my friend, sucks to suck
alecyar 0
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Any man that can't admit they would give a nod of approval of his choice to marry her is a liar.
focenspeil 7
Could be a bad male compliment or a joke.
melly1422 5
maybe he meant to say after you blew him away on your first date, could have been nervous speaking in front of that many people
fantasyworld 39
A little inappropriate for the wedding but it's funny.
Drosophila82 18
WOW