Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
sabine123_fml 5
In vino veritas Tmi for a wedding
Goblin182 27
Sorry he embarrased you at "your wedding". Maybe you could do the same to him when he has his wedding.
Sangue0608 26
Pretty sure a husband and wife have the same wedding.
pdp_fml 21
Lol, this story made me laugh. After my first date with my wife of 40 years now, I just took her home without even kissing her good night. I was scared to try to kiss her after the first date.
mybubbles2000 13
That is back when morals existed. As well as chivalry.
vikky538 29
those unforgettable moments...
Melkboy 7
What are you whining about? You were the one who blew him on his first date? Did you want him to skirt around the subject or lie? Screw it, it's your wedding!
toriaaa1313 7
I bet that blew all the guest's minds...
squideth 18
Thank you, I'm kind of disgusted by how many people are looking down their noses at OP. Sexism and double standards are still well alive.
squarecircles 13
There's one groom who won't be getting any when the night's through.
Xotoolyxo 16
I'm sure your parents were very proud of you
The_Hula_Monster 10
Damn, OP... A ******* on the first date? I'm not saying you should wait for marriage to do that stuff, but you need to hold yourself to some higher standards. INB4 "IT'S OP'S DECISION GAWD IT'S NUNN OF UR BIZNESS!!!1!" My point is that if you jump to sex on the first date, you're probably not going to have a healthy relationship, and if that relationship produced a husband like the one OP described, that's her fault.