Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML
Today, my husband made an elaborate heartfelt speech to a female colleague regarding her job promotion during her celebration dinner that had everyone in tears. During our wedding, he insisted on not do wedding vows because he “doesn’t like all that emotional shit.” FML
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
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Top comments
misterspock 16
I think you blew this out of proportion.
Brelywi 15
Damn, you must give one helluva ********.
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Comments (168)
xfluttershy07 8
damn... ******* on the first date?
Sangue0608 26
I've had it before, not always a bad thing.
cook4money 9
Well hopefully this will not affect his relationship with your parents. I'm sure daddy was not happy to hear that.
sisco2901 20
He's a cocksucker... Err, wait.
STEALTHHUNTER88 13
The Lannisters send their regards.
Ben009 13
Be proud
gbrodee1 5
It was his turn to blow you away.
Austino_yo 11
Maybe OP didn't blow him on the first date. Her husband could've just been joking.
mike7800 8
I don't think he's brave for putting that in his speech, I think he's brave for marrying somebody who sucks dick on a first date.
DotDootyDot 17
Any woman is entitled to suck dick (or NOT suck dick) whenever she feels like it, following outdated standards of sexual purity for the sake of being regarded as a decent person (when other more remarkable features should be more important, such as kindness and intelligence) is just plain stupid.
mpkpm 19
Honestly, blowing guys on a first date? Ydi
siqdawg 9
DAYUMM.....