Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "The myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my professor let a guy into my philosophy class 30 minutes late because his excuse was, "Time is just an illusion." This is the same professor that kicked me out of the classroom for being 2 minutes late. FML
Today, I realized some of my English students have just been going to their Philosophy professor to help them complete their essays. FML
Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML
Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML
Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. FML
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML
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Top comments
ogoodrich 14
Well.... I bet his wife thinks he's great...
theslimshadylp 6
Please tell me more of this mythical ******.
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Comments (41)
hopsinlove17 26
Obviously.
shrdlu 28
This is philosophy class, right? Ask the sub how he can be sure that ANYTHING exists.
coolboy675 16
Anything: "I think I exist, I think I exist, I think I exist..."
sirpantselot 22
Descartes walks into a bar, and the barman asks if he wants a strong drink. Descartes says, "I think not." Then he disappears.
Futacy 30
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doe it make me a dumbass if I have no idea wtf this FML is about?
Shrike 24
Don't give him that much credit. He's at least a caveman. Maybe a chimp. :))
Futacy 30
Yeah, I'm an idiot, move along, people.
Futacy 30
21- lol, you're so funny shrike! any other "original" material you want to throw at me while im still here? Please, say anything but "derp derp". When I said i have no idea what this is about, i meant i knew everything but two key points about this. your response wasn't funny, witty or clever, it was just attention whoring and outdated. Stop being a smartass.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Aww sheee' son, it's all goin' down! Please oh my god please Mr Futacy don't put the FML population in the crossfire of your keyboard rage! We wanna live!!! D': Really, STFU.
BulldogHoops 14
lol 32 overreaction much? Welcome to the internet. People make fun, deal with it. You shouldn't be asking a question that you didn't want answered in the first place.
Futacy 30
40- all i needed was the first answer i got, i was satisfied by that. What i didnt need was some wise guy trying to compare my intelligence to two lower lifeforms. Even as a joke it's dumb, elementary, really unoriginal and not even funny.
fabulosogurlee 7
47- Some people (like myself) happen to find metaphors very amusing
GothicAngel17 24
From what I've read of Futacy's comments so far on this and other FMLs I can't help but think he's retarded.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Futacy- the more you whine and try to get in the last word, the more idiotic you become.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
19's comment was obviously a rhetorical question. Let's honor that.
KingCeltic77 18
I understand you're in college, but if that's not the class subject than WTF?
charlieo88 3
Wait, they're a myth?!?!!!
gantoman 13
THE GOVERNMENT! They spread that lie!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
To a virgin, the vaginal ****** is still a myth. *forever alone face*
elletex 8
I pity the professor's wife/girlfriend, if he has one. He probably doesn't even try...or maybe he did try and failed, leading to his little rant.
southerngalslove 15
Vaginal orgasms are not a myth, they can happen.
juker369 7
wait... seriously?!!
Shadow_Phantom 26
Yes. Just takes the right guy who knows what he's doing.
Collisionn 11
Omg NOWAI!!1!1!!! -.-
JiggaJayZ 16
Lots of foreplay, self-control, and confidence (or at least the illusion of confidence) are keys to giving the vaginal ******. Trust a guy who makes his girlfriend squirt multiple times every time.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Is your girlfriend a water bottle?
BatemanFML 0
It's not the "******" that is the myth. The myth is that this "******" can be achieved by stimulation from the male gender. Or so I hear....
elletex 8
Well, then I have personally debunked that myth. Just sayin'.
BatemanFML 0
Teach me your ways
elletex 8
It doesn't necessarily have to do with the man and his "skills". All women have different levels of sensitivity. I have a friend who can ****** just from having her nipples stimulated. It just depends. Vaginal orgasms come from stimulation of the g-spot, and while some women have never had one, it doesn't mean it's not possible. There are positions out there recommended for achieving it. Look into it. It's definitely possible. And this has been sex ed with Lauren. Sorry; guys.
JiggaJayZ 16
Look up "Jason Julius" he'll teach you. He taught me at least and I've basically turned my girlfriend into a sex crazy animal.
kyat288 9
Wait what?!