Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
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Top comments
AyeJay101 25
Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)
rapunzel3416 28
She's just focusing on the boring stuff to last longer... That's how that works right? Right?
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Comments (52)
rapunzel3416 28
She's just focusing on the boring stuff to last longer... That's how that works right? Right?
NakuEh 27
Congratulations! You gave her the inspiration she needs to be an amazing teacher!
Thekbking 11
personally I think thats more than rude and unfair to the man. if its to last longer thats one thing. but honestly if women dont climax near as much as men do then why try to last longer? it seems really ass backwards to me. And of all things why would a person think if children let alone a curriculum for them while having sex. thats by far more than weird.
mishwarner 14
Maybe he is not doing enough to keep her focused. You projecting your own issues?
deathstroke990 22
"women don't climax nearly as much as much as men do" have you never heard of the whole multiple orgasms thing
TheNewGuy03 29
1) Women typically have far more orgasms than men. I usually have to purposefully hold back my load so she can keep cumming. 2) She is just thinking of other shit, and it's usually because the ******* isn't engaging enough. If she was REALLY feeling it, she wouldn't want you to stop until she got enough. It means he has a lot of work to do in that area. The Michael Jackson reference is purely coincidental.
Xamry14 10
Not true for a lot of women me included.
deathstroke990 22
well maybe you give her some bright ideas man think of the bright side
AyeJay101 25
Take some credit! You're pumping some good ideas into her ;)
GuyOnBridge 14
But he's not pumping something else into her.
anyagrande 31
You must have had it coming
jarrahj 19
Aw cum on man
Feklfekl2222 32
I guess you can be proud she's so dedicated to her job? But bad luck on not being engaging enough to stop her thinking of small childre
mishwarner 14
You doing something wrong?
pedinhuh 23
While this can be good to your wife, you might wanna spice up your game, OP
jake2226969 4
you must do it like a third grader reminds her of her students bro
iiTzNeeNerz 26
What the **** man
Obito_Uchiha651 17
I'm calling Chris Hansen