Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML
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Top comments
Prolusive 5
Your heart was in the right place, just have fun explaining it :)
jillianmathers12 13
Just explain it to him I am sure he will understand!
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Comments (76)
taytaybirdy 5
... Facebook sucks...
slushpup9696 12
You must be Tom. Nice to meet ya.
nitram0606 0
Why is this even an FML ? Just tell the son of a bitch that you were trying to find out a way of returning his items. If he doesn't understand he's a dumb bastard.
FroggyFM 4
Just explain, geeeezz.
2wenty0ne21 0
No good deed goes unpunished.
G0t4acked 8
Just explain to him that you found the keys and looked up the name hoping to return them.
sammygirl8 0
Cuz u r a stalker!!
G0t4acked 8
Your profile pic makes me want to punch something.
Egnar 19
When I was a freshman in college some random student called my dorm room up because she found my wallet and looked in it for my contact information [which just so happened to have my student ID so she could look me up in the computer system and see my landline information]. I don't know about you but I'd much rather someone call me/facebook me that they found my stuff than have to retrace my steps through god knows how many places trying to blindly find it. She only feels awkward because she didn't bother to say "oh hey, I saw you left your stuff here and was trying to see if you had any contact information so I could get in touch with you and get it back to you." Anybody would have appreciated it and if he wasn't an idiot I'm sure he was able to figure that out himself.
Egnar 19
You did the right thing. I figured it would be pretty easy to explain that you were using it to get in contact with him so that you could return the items you found, though. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, had you given it to somebody in lost and found you wouldn't be able to verify the person getting their stuff back or having it stolen.
stevenmx86 8
That's what you get for googling him in public on your giant projector screen? I mean, were you either googling him immediately in public on a large screen or googling him at home and he was your roommate? I just don't understand how he saw?
NightForever 2
College Library or computer lab? Not all of the computers are attached to projectors you know..
Carlie_McCartney 1
I'm sure if you explained yourself (CORRECTLY...not creepy-like...) he'd understand. How else would you have found his information otherwise...?...other than, I suppose, bringing it to some sort of lost and found or a front desk...oh well. Hope your explanation wasn't shaky xD