Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML
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Top comments
Prolusive 5
Your heart was in the right place, just have fun explaining it :)
jillianmathers12 13
Just explain it to him I am sure he will understand!
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Comments (76)
urdirtyolduncle 15
That's some excellent stalking skills you have there, my friend.
Egnar 19
What do you think the people at the lost and found do? When I worked lost prevention anytime somebody handed us a purse or wallet I was called to look through it. I don't care what's in the purse or what kind of personal items you have in it, it doesn't matter to me. My only goal is to find some sort of identification and a phone number and if no number is present attempt to match it up to some kind of online record (Facebook or Spokeo). In my year working LP I'd found dozens of wallets/purses and not once did anybody ever say "man you shouldn't have gone through my stuff", everybody was extremely pleased, some of the people didn't even know they lost it until I had called. Nobody at a help desk is going to go through the trouble of retracing the steps of somebody they don't know. And, the longer it remains at such a desk the higher a chance of something being stolen.
brendonuriepatd 8
Was he cute?
smashgrab 0
YDI. You could have just sent him a fast message letting him know you had his keys. Or you could have turned them over to someone else.
Daralea 21
Now why look through his facebook profile? Call the YMCA and let them know it is missing. They DEFINITELY have his contact info. PS: he has no right to feel stalked if he has low privacy settings on his online profile
xcutioner 0
Trying to do a good deed and it backfires that's hilarious
Clubkicker_fml 0
It's fun to stay at the YMCA!
caitiebug1119 15
All you had to do was turn it into lost and found or just leave it where it was. Good intentions, but I'd think you were a creep stealing my stuff if it was me.
miianah1 22
You're a good person, just explain. By the way, I don't really think this is an FML. Just explain.
mkcherry 14
putting stuff in the lost and found doesn't mean it will get back to the owners and keys are pretty important to have that same day so it makes sense to try and facebook message the person. Id be embarrassed to but it sound easily explainable.