Today, at college, I found a lanyard with some keys and a YMCA member's card attached. Hoping to find contact details, I googled the name on the back of the card, just in time for him to return and see me looking through his Facebook profile like some kind of stalker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
Today, a coworker and I had our second date at my place. He wanted to show me pictures of himself in some club, where he had been a member in highschool. He started typing his name into the google search bar and it suggested his name from when I had googled him months ago. FML
Today, I made a new friend at my college campus, which was great, until I added him on Facebook and he started liking posts from 3 years ago, asking if he could be my "dirty little secret" because he knows that I have a boyfriend. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML
Today, I bought a replacement ID after weeks looking for my old one and not finding it. When I got home, my brother said he'd found my ID. FML
Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Prolusive 5
Your heart was in the right place, just have fun explaining it :)
jillianmathers12 13
Just explain it to him I am sure he will understand!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
thissucksfmll 0
Just be like, uhh me no habla English.
My_Nightmare 19
fail
KiddNYC1O 22
Uhh, Lisa no en casa. (Reference, anyone? Anyone?)
RebekahBrooke 9
oh god. let it be lost next time. o.o
nitram0606 0
You are so dumb...
Alex94xela 0
Who cares she's purty O.o -stares awkwardly-
eurekaroy 6
Just explain, if he doesn't appreciate that you were going to be a good person then he didn't deserve you finding his keys.
leadman1989 16
Op remember to bring lots of snacks and dress warmly when you're staking out outside his bedroom window. And the, if you can't see them they can't see you rule, is utter crap.
perdix 31
Well, you are stalking him. At least you have the thinly-veiled pretense of stalking him to return his keys. Otherwise, you'd just be a creepy predator gawking at you luscious prey, watching him do naked Zumba moves in his window.
nitram0606 0
Trying too hard on this one.
laceyanneman 7
Haha totally
Jazzalyn 10
Did he actually say that? About the stalker thing? Because technically - if he doesn't want people looking at his profile, he should make it private. You were just trying to do the right thing. Though - next time I would suggest handing it into security or something.
rocker135 0
OP wasn't stalking he was thouroughly investigating.
omixxx 0
lol sad story
lecitizen_fml 1
Sounds like the commercial "Don't judge too quickly"
K_kanaka 26
Awkward