Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, at sparring, I got paired up with a girl, who said, "Don't go easy on me because I'm a girl!" Thirty seconds into the match, she was on the floor whimpering and crying. Now everyone is whispering and glaring at me. FML
Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, thanks to my ex-husband's misogyny, my son is now convinced girls are inherently weaker and that if he had to, he could beat any woman in a fight, even if she was a trained martial artist or a soldier, because, "Men are the stronger gender." I can kick both their asses, husband and son. FML
Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
I already know I'm going to hate 95% of the comments on this one.
kimuchi_warui 4
wow, someone just turned twelve.
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Comments (400)
Ohlookabird 0
win. that boy's got some cajonés. you should treat him better, because I'm sure his balls are MASSIVE.
Bro_Namath 0
I don't see the issue. I personally still think we ****** up when we allowed women to vote.
coolV 0
good point!
youngchode 0
ROTFLMFAO...there is times but not for no reason...
Nagem1891 1
@OP- that really sucks, just goes to show you internet "jokes" rub off on assholes. @every male who likes the "joke", why don't you get back to the crops and harvest us women the food we use to make your "sammiches"??? If you really want to get back into the old days where women were treated unfairly, you have to also go back to when men worked ALL the time! God check history for once before posting shit on here! Back then women could not get jobs because all the men had them, and after a long day of working, nobody wants to cook anything. So no shit the women made the men dinner! But that was then, this is now, women can work, and don't have to listen to your shit anymore! We are not your bitches that you can beat if we refuse to make you a sandwich, or any other type of food. I love to cook and all, but I don't do it when some idiot demands me to >.
Bro_Namath 0
Well you don't have to worry about any of this in Canada since there are no men there to beat you.
Nagem1891 1
Bro_Namath, there are men up here, but unlike YOUR place of birth the men here are more respectful of women.
Bro_Namath 0
Highly doubtful. Bros are the only kind of man in the world, and Canada (for a fact) has no bros..
ktbird 0
I'm married to a Canadian and I can assure you there are a number of Canadian men that are much more respectable than half of these boys replying. Chivalry is much more alive in Canada in my experience.
Nagem1891 1
"Bros" are NOT men, so your point is right when you say that we have no "Bros". Canada is filled with better men than your country, which has all the "Bros" who think it is funny to beat a woman senseless because she did not make him his "sammich" Ktbird - keep on loving that Canadian man, they treat you right ^^
Bro_Namath 0
Who said anything about "sammiches"? Chivalry? You read too many fairy tales. And no, Canada sucks/doesn't have a single male there.
Nagem1891 1
Bro, why don't you get your ass up here and see for yourself?? Oh wait, you don't want to because you don't want to be proven WRONG! You think that all men have to be wife-beating, sandwich deserving assholes, but that is only in the USofA, here in Canada, our men are not so stuck up and weak to beat their women or men. So because you only think men are nothing but sexist pigs, yeah you can say we have no men. But in reality, we do. How else do we breed dumbass?
Bro_Namath 0
Only God knows what you do in that hedonistic country of yours to breed more sub-par humans.
956TXking 0
why does it always have to be a sammich why can't she make a taco or enchilidas...
Ieat3gnomes 0
because sammiches are better and easier and faster to make.
KradsLover 0
I love how everyone is speaking up for women's rights.. But it was a debate. Some people have to be on the other side, even though it seems it was the person's partner and they were probably on the side that was against women abuse.. But really has anyone considered it's not just women who have to go through domestic abuse? I know men who are beaten by their wives or their boyfriends (for those who are gay/bi) and no one ever cares. And what about the women who are beaten by their girlfriends if they are gay/bi themselves? Would you still care? Or would you only care if it is a women being hit by a man. If you say yes to the latter than even you are being prejudice to that. And yes, I am a woman. Think about it. Also you men who tell us girls to make you a 'sammich' (it's a ******' SANDWHICH), just remember.. If all you're gonna let us do is cook and clean then you better have a damn good job or you'll starve.
dabomblyktiktikk 0
wow alex. im pretty sure if thats wat u made, ud b able 2 spell it. failllll....
XanimalloverX 0
Men who beat women deserve to be beaten. And men who beat women are not men at all they are prissy **** sucking boys
vasav 0
I don't hear no pots and pans rattling, your feet are short for a reason