Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
StefanKa 23
Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)
junkman6 22
Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.
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Comments (116)
SgtAssCheeks 21
You... you just suggested OP to join sexual intercourse with HIS (Not her) parents? I'm so done with humanity.
Meld86 12
It's good your parents are still into each other physically. That can be you when you're married with kids
JMichael 26
That's when I put my headphones in and turn them up as loud as they can go without destroying my ear drums
worldclassrager 41
Just leave or tell them to be quieter or just ear plugs...
ilcoach18 4
Sorry you had to hear that :( I know exactly how you feel
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe they were watching a western.... Broke Back Mountain, perhaps.
befml 7
I actually laughed out loud pretty hard at this one. I usually just smile to myself or chuckle a bit. Thank you OP.
zahidnasir 22
whatever, respect them
Ray_of_midnight 23
I would rather have heard my parents having sex once in a while than the constant loud screaming fights and arguments I heard growing up. :-( Your parents have a healthy marriage. Be happy.
DanielleinDC 34
Wow, I don't know which is more painful for some of you: listening to your parents fight or listening to your parents ****. Either way, OP, a good set of headphones or a loud stereo just might drown them out. I say play it on speakers. Are your parents aware you can hear them going at it?