Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
StefanKa 23
Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)
junkman6 22
Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.
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Comments (116)
shaytards_fml 9
Seems like they have a 40000 horse power relationship
OctoDope 15
Not sure if this was a bad car joke or just a bad joke.
shaytards_fml 9
your face is bad
Rainhawk94 27
One does not simply make a good joke
Zebediabolical 45
Headphones. Loud televisions. Moving to a room that isn't the next room over. Any or all of these solutions is better than listening to sex noises.
ziya1999 12
Uh oh. That must have been ****** up, maybe try staying out of the house more often? or of course headphones is always an option.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Think positive: She's a happy mom now.
allie2590 31
Yes! If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!
dachayke 16
So the snake in your profile's mom is happy?
142_cats 13
Time to get new Neighhhhh-bors.
ThatLoneIyGuy 8
Sigh.....
Torrey_Turner 12
Have louder sex…
jddrinker 6
Quit listening in you perv
dachayke 16
Lay off the beer, man.
metalmommy 8
Wow. Next just blare some music or go walk outside
Sandsh8rk 36
This just reminds me of this song: "Can you quack like a duck when you suck? Can you buck like a horse when we ****? Can you take every inch up your butt? Can you shit on my chest for good luck?"
jmcr 27
I remember that song from tosh.0
RedPillSucks 33
@23 your profile picture perfectly expresses my sentiment to that song.
Sandsh8rk 36
...And here's yet another person who relates my profile picture to my comment!
Ihavegas 22
record it and play it back at the dinner table. demand £20 for it.
ThatFancyPenn 18
20 seems a little low for having to hear your parents have sex. I'd say about 50