Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
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Top comments
StefanKa 23
Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)
junkman6 22
Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.
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Comments (116)
sporkadork 7
I don't remember ever hearing my parent's having sex. FML has taught me I am a truly lucky individual. I would recommend investing in some high quality headphones.
Natoya 1
Same here I'm am very lucky compared to most of the people on fml.
reaxion 25
Parents have sex. Horrible as that may seem, that's how everyone comes to exist, if you'll excuse the pun.
Xotoolyxo 16
Bad because no one wants to hear that, but good that your parents still love each other so intimately
martin8337 36
Leon is getting larger!
Neighborhoods 8
know the feeling OP, I still try to tell myself that my parents never have sex.
Nastorrian 11
Don't know about you, but I would put on headphone and say to myself "Well done Dad, well done."
rs7797 9
sounds like mom is taking it good .
jazzriot 1
you should have walked in and made eye contact with your mom and whisper "like a horse"
IMSUPEREPIC 5
You don't get to complain until you see your parent walking into the hot tub room with nothing but towels on and hear them say "stay out for the next hour"
legalizenow 16
But, that's how they made you, man!