Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
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Top comments
breenarae25 0
that's why u FLICK it , not smack it... duhh
Trevv 0
You'd be amazed at how stupid people can be... This is nothing.
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Comments (145)
dancin303 0
#28 being kicked or "smashed" there doest make you infertile. so all those "now you cant have kids" jokes are completly false. so #28 you should worry less about other people and more about getting your facts right
Synnie 0
Looks like all spiders crawl on crotches. Need a trim?
genius_man16 1
#11 I did indeed mean that i suppose i probably should have just said "verb" tho. But whatever.
nerdgrl128 0
GOOD JOB LMFAO
deedeegirl 0
Maybe you panicked becuz it's the closest thing to ever get near your crotch
Panicattackx5 0
Darwinism at its best
beckyxD 13
1 point for man.
BethanyKimberly 4
Unless it was a black widow you there no excuse for that..
brittbrittT 0
who wants to bet that you missed the spider?
clairebear096 0
hopefully you became sterile. that's what's known as natural selection.
choppedNskrewed 0
LOL 8