Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
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Top comments
breenarae25 0
that's why u FLICK it , not smack it... duhh
Trevv 0
You'd be amazed at how stupid people can be... This is nothing.
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Comments (145)
Mikeymikey 4
hahahahha... legendary!!
Darkcloud_fml 0
I would have done the same thing. I feel you man. ****** spiders. gross
itsgen 16
lol im a gurl and i herd that sheeit hurts like a bitch
fkjiwefakris 0
lol 30 harry potter. sooo what dvd were you watching op?
doof_fisch 2
You walloped the spider that sat on your fly.... But I don't know why..........you walloped the fly...... Perhaps you'll die.
Hazza_69 1
ouch that must hurt, lol.
lolwut_fail 0
Spiders are evil. He plotted out the entire trap. And you fell for it. Spider +1.
kingez77 0
damn. well i bet the spider liked it rough but probably didn't have that in mind. heartless bastard.
itsnotfair 0
aha #26 i LOVE how you worded 'sexually assaulting yourself' gold
Jakey_92 0
a simple flick may have sufficed but hey... sterile's good