Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
cas84911 1
Were you wearing those tight dorky shorts with the matching gay-a-tard shirt? If so, YDI.
biebslove 2
TMI BRO
Pandasaurus 14
holy shit, ouch! :/
hotcaligirl 10
Omg.. Poor thing.
2RaRa25 6
Ever read that FML that makes you think, "This person just needs the biggest hug in the world..." ? Well, OP, that's you as I read this. You need a big hug...and then a sedative to knock you out for the next few days. Best wishes for a fast recovery...
gmaxwell1 2
Now who has the bigger balls. heheh
Oceanlondon 5
I'm sure your girlfriend envoy's the new construction
giggitygoo12 7
Don't forget number of kids 0
pappuyarr 1
Add this to ur FML " sharing it on FML, priceless"
augie117 2
Good sir you have the respect of every man in the world (and lots of girls to)