Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML
Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML
Today, I came down hard on the top bar of my bike, and crunched my balls. I felt sick almost immediately, and by the time I got home I was still nauseous, tender, uncomfortable, and very relieved to finally be able to rest with an ice pack. FML
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Top comments
illabye 0
That must be some serious painful shit! I closed my legs and I'm a girl!
airforce987 20
Tbh the pain in this fml might actually trump giving birth...
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Comments (322)
kristina1124 3
Wow that is so horrible! I bet ur nut was dangling huh :p hope it doesn't ruin the sex life lol.
NoahEibon 11
How did they manage to tear open? That sound excrushiatingly painful!! (Sorry if 'excrushiatingly' is spelt wrong)
mrsmaglietta 6
oh sorry
krob92 4
On the bright side, you can now tell your friends how "ballsy" you are
BaconBoy75 2
Every guy on FML collectively crossed their legs upon reading this.
Isa_fml 20
My God, I'm a woman and I still crossed my legs, I can't even imagine what that would be like for a dude. Poor OP.
MexicanGinger 5
YIKES! D;
robert76 5
Every guy's worst nightmare. FYL OP, FYL.
kitsune3 20
I'm a woman and this made me cringe. FYL, OP. Hope it gets better soon.
SoultheWolf 19
This is why you wear proper shoes when using a bike. I've biked my entire life, and the ONLY time I've had my foot slip is when I was using flip flops or sandals.
qwqw176 0
I would die. I swear that's probably the worst pain ever