Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
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Top comments
keoct 4
dine n’ dash?
_blah_blah_blah_ 1
it's more like his life sucks and you should go get yourself another sandwich..imagine what it's like to be so desperate for food that you have to steal yank it from someone's hand and run...
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Comments (182)
LiishaNiinahx 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lmfao he deserves it more than you cD
madasmercury 0
Not really, she paid for it.
bobateme 0
homeless person is homeless. {awesomeface}
BlackMoon_fml 9
Have your girlfriend/wife make you another.
jwc93 0
fyl, you paid for the damn sandwich, not the bum.
bbuba 0
the ****** bum doesn't deserve the sammich you ****** commie socialists
BigBirdLookAlike 0
The homeless guy may be hungrier but there is no reason to steal food. Besides, there's probably a reason why he's homeless.
crazycornn 0
reasons to steal food: 1. you're starving 2. you have no other way to get it yeah, his life is way worse than yours.
madasmercury 0
also, hunger does not mean you "deserve" to steal something, 53
BigBirdLookAlike 0
Deffinately his life is worse but if he is starving, he can get his ass to a homeless shelter. it's ilegal to steal food just like it's ilegal to steal a car. would you let a homeless man steal your car?
generalasskicker 12
Gota agree with 68 if you don't have something stealing from someone else is typically not the answer I can see why he did it while stealing will get you what you need doesn't make it okay he should have asked for the sandwich and then she should have given it to him while I understand that many people would not give him the sandwich it's the right way to do things
EvilDoll 7
^ The longest sentence I have ever read, but I agree with it.
generalasskicker 12
indeed that was a long sentence
iSpasticFantasti 14
Well he could've done much worse, he could've hurt her and stolen her wallet, it's a sandwich big whoop, people are shoveling food into themselves everyday carelessly whilst turning a blind eye to the starving. Then, to top it all off, people bitch about Lady Gaga dressing up in meat whilst they're out chompin' down on a family meal from Maccas. He deserved the sandwich.
login6437 0
There is a line between bad grammar and not being able to understand someone. Asskicker surely showed us that line. I'm no Grammar Nazi but at least try to let us be able to read it. OP, chase him down and take your sandwich back. The homeless person had no right to steal it. Most homeless people are homeless because they spend all of their money on drugs or they really aren't even poor.
whymee55 6
How is it unreadable just because it has no full stops?
suppressed08 2
He doesn't deserve the sandwich! There's a difference between deserving and needing.
labratory5 0
I ******* hate hobos they all need to die
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
better the hobo steal your sandwich than your stereo, you got off easy
hesallineed26 0
its just a sandwhich...
amazinglyHappy 6
MISFITS!!!! :D best show ever :D :D :D but yeah... I agree
areakiller525 9
2 homeless guys have shitty lives charities don't help them and people will most likely hell girls and children than a guy for many reasons girls also have a better chance at getting jobs if you know what I mean. It was wrong of the guy to steal but I also feel bad for him. Most people cant go a day without wifi or food he has to live without it
iMuffinKat 16
Hunger doesn't mean he automatically can steal from others. The homeless man doesn't deserve it, he just needs it more than OP does.
keoct 4
dine n’ dash?
posteriffic 0
dash n dine
keoct 4
... ok, yours makes more sense.
mathew17986g 2
well you have money just go get another sandwich
THEBlade_fml 1
Did they say they have much money? OP might have been living paycheck to paycheck and cant really afford to buy it. Anyways, it's just wrong for the person to steal your sandwich anyways. Homeless or not, they don't have the right to take somebody else's sandwich.
xX_Munchie_Xx 8
Are you kidding me? He works for his money. The homeless man obviously doesn't have a job. If he cleaned himself up and got a job, maybe he wouldn't need to break the law in order to get food. (Theft)
goldiefox 0
Poor man wanted a girl to make him a sammich! You must have looked like the perfect opportunity!
goldiefox 0
whoa! why did my comment get moderated?
goldiefox 0
hey watch what your calling me! I only said "sammich" so don't go pissing on me loser!
the101dan 0
37 - rofl!!!
whymee55 6
hahaaaaaaa!!!
beautikill 4
hahahaha lol i loved this reply!
goldiefox 0
no I'm not! stop freaking moderating me!
xX_Munchie_Xx 8
hey guys stop making fun of him you have no proof he said anything wrong. Just go read the other comments.
_blah_blah_blah_ 1
it's more like his life sucks and you should go get yourself another sandwich..imagine what it's like to be so desperate for food that you have to steal yank it from someone's hand and run...
j4ym4n 2
I'm sure America has welfare, also a lot of organizations that assist the homeless (Australia have the salvation army). it's only a sandwich but that's theft man.
DomoCullen 0
lawl
iSitt 0
he could also have been mentally I'll and not know how to find help.
lib_lb 5
exactly!!
xX_Munchie_Xx 8
Except the Op works for his money. Maybe if the homeless man got a job he wouldn't have to break the law in order to get food. At least ask for the sandwich. I hope it was a crappy sandwich.
totono 0
At least he didn't replace the sandwich with poo.
tanner11111 0
thank god for that
FMLandurstoo 9
YDI for not kicking his ass afterward. it was ur sandwich and u deserve it
mola_mola 3
she owns it, but does she deserve it? you don't know she might be a complete tool. I doubt it but she has just complained about the loss of a sandwich to someone with no basic living conditions
amerwin 3
He's most likely going to trade your half of a turkey melt, a pair of shoelaces, and a rusty nail for a 40 oz.
jakeisawake 3
Oh, I would have chased a hobo down. Especially if it was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
mimibabyboo24 0
pb and j sandwich really make your lazy ass another one
jakeisawake 3
Psh, lazy? Considering my ass would have chased the hobo... the idea of laziness escapes me. Besides, I wouldn't have made the first one; I'm way too lazy for that shit.
jakeisawake 3
No argument from me; hazelnut is pretty scrumptious.
AthinaMarie 0
lol that would have been a funny thing to watch.
tmmundy 17
lmao.....he deserves it!!! if he's that hungry to walk up to someone and grab their food and run. I would have yelled at him, "you could have had it, if you would only ask!!!!"
snowboarder25 0
@11 hell yea straight up lol
xX_Munchie_Xx 8
At least OP works for his money. the homeless man obviously doesn't if he has to break the law for food. at least ask for it. besides what makes you think he deserves it? he hasn't worked for crap.