Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Your luck is . . . ahem, shit. I've been around a long time and I have been using men's rooms appropriately for many, many years, and I have NEVER seen anyone taking a dump in a urinal. I'd say the odds of you seeing this in a chance encounter in a men's room are . . . *lowers sunglasses* ass-tronomical.
njgohard 16
what the blue **** did i just read?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
XxcaitanatorXx 12
the irony i can just taste it in the air
tchapps 2
What a champ.
Justin32196 4
I literally had to read that twice because the first time I thought he said "taking a shit in the stall" thinking that the story doesn't match up with his friends holding the bathroom door shut thinking maybe he meant to say stall door then I read it the second time realizing he said urinal instead of stall. what's wrong with me?