Today, and as for the rest of my life, I will always have a husband whose breath stinks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML
Stinki Boi
Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML
Greasy
Today, my husband is going on his fifth consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom, and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Family portrait
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Top comments
angelove737 1
You could get a tongue scarper. Halitosis often comes from a stinky tongue with icky build-up. Also, taking chopped cloves of garlic like pills can help. He'll smell like garlic for a couple days, but after that his body will become immune and stop the odor. Good luck-
kenltd 0
Maybe you should practice better hygiene before he goes down on you
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
emilybabes 0
this sounds lk my mom. hah
afallingstar 22
and he probably says "I used listerine"
uluvmyexistence 0
this is not an fml. u married a gross man and u should have realized that b4 marrying him. just tell him to brush his frickin teeth loser
me_is_lala 2
my fiancé is the same way... he thinks that using listerine is enough.. he does have teeth problems but refuses to get them fixed because he'd rather spend money on "games and anime". I love him but wish he'd get his priorites straight :(
KB_Duzit 0
lmao ur foul if u kiss em knowin his breath smell like a little man is dancing on his tongue with shitty boots
HuiYaMing 0
you married him quit bitching
iftheglovefits 0
…
random1456 13
Heres an idea; make him brush his teeth. oh wow genius isnt it?
Tiannak 0
I know how you feel...
YacL 15
Exactly what I was thinking. You *had* to have realized it *before* you got married. Some people can't help it.