Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had barfed all over my laptop's keyboard and screen, filling each nook and cranny of the stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to make coffee to deal with the stress, I found that I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
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Top comments
jenzan 8
FOR SPARTA!
DudeImBetter 0
All you need now is a colony of acid-shooting termites to kill off all the ants except for one of coarse and you should name him Z.
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Comments (114)
jenzan 8
FOR SPARTA!
pwincessa23 1
Lol#1. op, I feel si bad for u but mainly the baby. hope it gets breast fed.
DishHeads 9
I also feel SI bad for OP
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I hope the american ants beat the afghan ants and take their baby formula even though it's on their side of the house.
GamerCon 0
That was funny.
DarkHelmet 10
LMAO that's an epic win for #1
carcinogan 0
lmao I love this comment
Alleged_Cranium 7
GO RED ANTS!!
KaleidoscopePope 0
1 lmaooo
MaximilianMarche 0
haha. great comment
kittysammich_fml 0
For glory
Peanut87 0
And it was left open because??
FMLollie 7
Usually when you knock something over with a lid like that it pops off, like hot chocolate or a paint tin that's embarrassing in a shop.
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
Impaling* stupid auto check.-_-
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
WTF? it's commenting on random fmls and comments.
tellmeastoryplz4 0
yeah good point #3
reyesspindi 0
breastfeed dumbass.
BloodyHeel 8
Oh piss off.
chicster 0
your a reason y condoms should be used! prick
chicster 0
also called comp talk too
monnanon 14
Yeah not everyone can breastfeed. Women don't always make enough milk and sometimes they make none. Don't be an ass
BloodyHeel 8
And a lot of women both breast feed and give formula.
DocBastard 40
Chicster, don't blame your inability to comprehend "your" versus "you're" on so-called "comp talk." It's either laziness or ignorance...or a typo, but I am disinclined to believe that one. And if you would bother to read the rules, your "comp talk" is forbidden. Just like the lambada.
chicster 0
go harass other people who have way worse grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes,who actually butcher the English language... boy,you must not have a life if you can sit there all day and bug people about spelling mistakes...it's not school...it's fml for **** sakes...it's not a job either...whatever.... geez get a real job or actual comment about something worthwhile..
Dr_Awesome654 24
#irony
omgYoUbasTards 0
feed your baby the cat now...problem solved :-D
SupKev 0
lol
ICabooseI 0
if op is asain, then that's racist!!!!
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
cat on in implaing stick anyone?
allmidnighteyes 11
...in implaning stick?
artemisrox98 10
I think he/she meant impaling. :)
chicster 0
should feed the cat you
SurfTheNet 0
Awww, cats are so cute!
Brittneyyyy 7
Omg I hate ants :O
Rangant 7
:O Nooooooooo!!! Ants are awesome!!!
Alleged_Cranium 7
OMG, I hate OMG!
frankq555 3
n they hate u 2
fluorescentadole_fml 8
if it wasn't for ants you wouldn't be here
DudeImBetter 0
All you need now is a colony of acid-shooting termites to kill off all the ants except for one of coarse and you should name him Z.
Oblique 0
^win.
starile 20
I haven't seen that movie in so long!
crashsapphire93 4
Start naming the cockroaches who come into your room every night and THEN talk!
Bcaw 0
I'm gonna name this one barrack...
redbluegreen 41
How do you not notice beforehand that there's not one, but two ant colonies in your house?
cody402 7
u need to call the rebel any colony that is hiding in ur basement n pay them 500 crumbs n they will take care of business