Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made a cup of tea at work. Whilst talking to a workmate, I took a sip of the tea, which I had forgotten was boiling hot, and laughed at the same time, causing it to come out of my nose. I have blistered my whole mouth and even burnt my nostrils. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML
Today, I tried to take a cool selfie with my coffee mug for Instagram. As I posed, I didn’t realize the mug was tilted, and I poured hot coffee all over myself. FML
Today, I reheated leftover soup and confidently carried the steaming bowl to my couch to watch TV. I sneezed halfway through sitting down, spilled soup all over my lap and instinctively yelled, “WHY, GOD?!” loud enough that my crazy neighbors banged on the wall. FML
Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunchtime, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
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Top comments
elfuzzo 0
You spilled tea all over your breasts? Oh man that is so hot.
bosshaug 0
I'm a burn expert can you send me a picture of your cleavage? I want to see the degree of the burn
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Comments (95)
jonny2x4 0
If the tea got into your cleavage, you must have some huge cans. Well, do you? And while we're on the subject, are you hot by any chance?
neverbr 0
LOL
sock123 0
LMFAO !!!!!
jennysaurus 0
maybe you'll be less stressed if you can figure out a way to laugh at yourself when shit like that happens.
aback 5
Ahhh...THAT hit the spot!
mrfkingkorean 0
i just went from 6-noon
Poke_my_mon 0
Ohhhh burn marks on the *******.... not sexy. FYL because you'll probably never have hot hot boobie sex ever again:(
Jakester 0
thats when you blow your ******* oh wait...
ItsAlexFool 0
OP, I just wanted to tell you that I love your username. Pygmalion is a great show, and it also provided the basis for My Fair Lady, one of my favorite musicals (:
Fire_Starter 0
I don't know about the show Pygmalion. But Pygmalion in Greek mythology comes off as an ass. So YDI.
pygmalion_fml 4
Someone doesn't know their Greek mythology. http://www.theoi.com/Heros/Pygmalion.html I happen to think sculpting a life is quite an honor. You are welcome to think otherwise.
El_mariachi 0
I'm a doctor and I think you could have seriously hurt yourself post some pics of you wet cleavage and I can examine them :)
sublime93 0
Aw, fyl. Sounds like you really needed that peaceful moment. Hopefully the scalding tea doesn't leave any burns :/
FerrariCake 2
Here in America, we just cover our noses and say "excuse me" when we sneeze. Is it customary in Britain to smash yourself in the face after you sneeze? And you just happened to be holding a mug? You Brits are an odd bunch.
expen_dable 0
someones trying too hard...
arielhoee 9
Loll i've done the same exact thing as the OP. & since when do you excuse yourself when you sneeze? People are supposed to say "bless you," or "gazunteight" ;O
arielhoee 9
Hmph. It's not my fault I can spell the goddamn word. ): & idk maybe I am a Nazi... That would be interesting to find out. What do Nazi's have to do with sneezing though? ;D
f_alltheirlives 3
Nazis were german, you misspelled a german word, thus making you a nazi! It makes sense!
arielhoee 9
But, wouldn't a Nazi know how to spell it? Since they speak German & all. So I don't see how I oils possibly be a Nazi, although i do have some German blood in me..my last name is even German, it means Slaughterer. -evil laugh-
arielhoee 9
Wow that was fail, "oils": could*****
pygmalion_fml 4
Just because I'm in the UK doesn't mean I'm British. I'm American. Shit happens no matter your nationality.
mast3rpyr0 0
Stolen from Dane Cook... but good advice none the less.