Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, Rudolph's nose burned out. I had to guide the sleigh. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Claus isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML
Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ICastillo 25
Well times are hard everybody is having a rough time and down grading.
Pleonasm 36
Your kids learnt the grim reality of life. Santa can't hold his job; it's stressful and only comes one a year. The IRS is up his ass and the missus has had more rides from the elves than Santa gets on his sleigh. Everyone copes some how. So merry christmas you jolly bastard. I'll be leaving you my cookies and milk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
kayaker83 4
It should've been a pipe... More realistic ;)
Bebop_fml 1
ydi for lying to them.
the_enigma1019 1
Ah, the magic of Santa Claus... Hope you managed to explain this to your kids without ruining it.
theprincess79 2
Tell your kids what I tell mine ( and have been telling them since they were 3 yrs old). The real Santa is in the North Pole at his workshop getting ready for Christmas. The santa's you see in the mall, or elsewhere are just santa's helpers. It works well, if they then ask how the real Santa will know what they want for Christmas , if the one at the mall isn't real just tell them that because the other ones are santa's helpers, the have a secret phone to call Santa and tell him what they want for Christmas. My boys are 6 and 8 now, but they still believe that when I tell them.
samasara 20
Tell them it's his evil twin
cuffed_cutie 4
Merry Christmas, kids. That's a hard sight to shake off.
realtingdis 12
I never understood the purpose of lying to kids about Santa Claus. Why train children to put their hope in a person when in just a few years you'll have to the them he actually isn't real?
TcheQ 12
Lying to your kids? YDI
GoldenGrizzly 7
I was never told about Santa. My parents let me know if I was good THEY would be getting me gifts. If I was bad, then no presents.
AlexRen 21
Bad Santa?? Anybody? No... Okay:/