Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
theatregurl 0
when I first read this I read it as "tried to sleep with my husbands" it took me a while to realize she was talking about 1 person... I think this is exactly the reason apostrophies were invented
AfterCloudia 4
Wow seriously? Just because he accidentally hit her in the face? Real shallow if you ask me =/ there are worst things in a marriage than accidentally getting elbowed in the face.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
theatregurl 0
when I first read this I read it as "tried to sleep with my husbands" it took me a while to realize she was talking about 1 person... I think this is exactly the reason apostrophies were invented
swagaswag 0
and I think that's why God gave us logic...
ccfranco5 0
I can't feel that bad for her, I mean, she said 'husband'. She knew what she was getting into by the time a ring got put on her fckn finger! And if "love conquers all" then sleep in another room or something!
AfterCloudia 4
What if they didn't live together before hand? Or maybe his snoring got worse? Things and people change in a marriage in case you didn't know.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Getting elbow whacked happens to everyone in their life who has a mate. (: The snoring, if bad, should be checked by a Doc. GL
tykiej 0
I know how you feel!! My husband's snoring puts bears to shame. I probably would have punched him, I've done it before.
shortymac 0
How exactly does a bear show shame? If your husband's snoring puts bears to shame, then obviously you've consulted bears upon your husband waking up and asked them specifically if they were shameful of his snoring. Or maybe your husband is a bear and you asked his parents, your bears in-law?
fromlifetilldeat 0
if you tie a string around his testicles then the snoring will stop, just dont cut off the circulation...scientific fact...something to do with the sensation and the minds reaction
theburninator 1
he elbowed you because you left the kitchen
panpanesquivel 0
sounds like me and my husband but ik thankful that he's home and not deployed
hansbans11 0
I'll take my fiancees annoying snoring any night over a quiet lonely one too. I thank your husband for his service and you for supporting him.
kinga08 0
Horrible snoring can for sure lead to relationship problems...I know from my mom and dad. Sometimes she gets so frustrated that she kicks him out to the couch. To make it worse my mother is a very light sleeper, any little thing wakes her. My father has been checked out by doctors but to no avail. Thank gosh my boyfriend doesn't snore because I would not be able to deal with it!
azshadilia 0
Hahahahahaha!!! I can so relate!!!! I read this aloud to my boy friend and read it to him and then said "see honey, your not the only one who does this!!!"
YummiGummi 0
your life is toooottallly ****** because you were elbowed in the face. tooooootttaaaalllllllyyyyyy.