Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML
Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
Jasim 17
A man remembers an argument? That's a first.
ihartmytdi 23
I just hate it when I get the uncontrollable urge to bag someone in the boys
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Comments (39)
julianbozikovic 20
Hopefully you guys talked after and had a good laugh OP!
ihartmytdi 23
I just hate it when I get the uncontrollable urge to bag someone in the boys
the_queen217 8
Time to laugh it off
photographer49 22
#3 I think if OP started laughing it off it would just confirm she hit him on purpose
cheeeksss 29
Time to make up ^~^
Puffpie 24
How did she deserve that? It was an accident!
dragonvale19 12
Dude, two people pressed it by accident
Puffpie 24
Not anymore though
MrConcise 35
Common sense, #5. Not everybody shares your opinion, a lot of people press YDI on accident, and some people over-analyze FMLs in the search for possible alternatives (like this being a subconscious desire).
HyunnK 18
Or people do it on purpose because they think they are "funny"
nikkipettyfer 24
I'm sure you'll laugh about it tomorrow OP!
maximus_prime 24
OP may be laughing about it tomorrow, hubby may be walking like a cowboy though.
Jasim 17
A man remembers an argument? That's a first.
False_Stupidity 42
I remember arguments all the time, I just don't consider them admissible into the present if they are more than a day old.
Nina825 21
That's what I thought too!! Only girls do tht
Hildy93 21
Just argue with him naked and you'll win.
jentrynicole 20
Are you sure it wasn't your subconscious? Hopefully he accepted your apology and understand you didn't do it on purpose though!
travellingfun 18
it's called a hypnic jerk, and is a common thing to happen when, falling asleep/asleep, I get them sometimes aswell.
gcf3 6
#11 its actually more likely to be a myoclonic jerk. Hypnic jerks are generally larger and the OP would have felt like she was falling and therefore waking her up. Myoclonic jerks are just smaller twitches of certain parts of the body as one is falling asleep that the OP could or could not have felt but would not cause an increase in heart rate causing her to wake up.