Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML
Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I went to a new doctor. She asked me how long I had been sexually active. I said I'm not. I'm 24. FML
Today, as I was at work as a gynecologist, a twelve-year-old girl asked me, on a scale of 1-10, how tight her "fun stuff" was. This is the new generation. FML
Today, I'm having a difficult time in the bedroom. I'm 59 and the 40 year-old hot blonde I'm seeing is so tight, she squeezes me out almost every time she "gets hers." It sucks having to practically start over countless times before I can finish. FML
Today, I got a letter stating that now that I'm in my mid-twenties, I need to start getting cervical exams. The only people interested in getting anywhere near my vagina are doctors. FML
Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, just like at every gynecologist's appointment in the last 5 years, I had to yet again explain that no, I'm not a virgin at 27 because I'm waiting till marriage, I'm just a loser that no-one wants to sleep with. FML
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Top comments
hotdogcore 9
Unless you have a very good relationship with your gyno, I'd say that it was pretty unprofessional of them to make a comment like that.
strandy 2
I'm pretty sure you could get by without a boyfriend...
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Comments (181)
TheFlyingLampie 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Are you hot??? Come over to my place :P
pertained 12
Wow, talk about low morals..
TheFlyingLampie 4
I wasn't actually bang serious lol. Is it really a crime to post a joke??? NO, of course it's not.
coolsteve 0
26 I have phoned the police
TheFlyingLampie 4
Kool, have fun with that lol
EightInchNails 9
You're getting all kinds of hell tonight, Lampie.
EffinAhole 0
"911 what is your emergency?" "yeah, you need to send someone out here now! Theflyinglampie is making inappropriate comments on FML"
TheFlyingLampie 4
Tell me about it EightInch..... not enjoying it :s
CplChain 0
don't hate cuz the kid has game...
GoingLesbian 0
LOL
FrenchToast94 0
hey isnt it always better to be tight then loose.? but someone already this but if you can't get a bf atleast get a vibrator or a *****
sukaaa 0
52 for real wheres the fml? oh im not a ***** fml lol it'll be more like im so loose i can hear an echo
elmorous 0
I'm very afraid of this being a repost, but... 1- You, sir, are a pig! Bravo. lol 39- If you're going to hijack my MO, then at least make it good ... for example: -911, what's your emergency? -My duck is blowing Bubbles in the pond. -Pardon me? What is your name? -Duck! -No! Your name! - ... Duck? -sigh ... (click) -911, what's your emergency? -My duck is also blowing Bubbles in the pond. -WHO IS THIS? -DuckDuck. -grrrr ... (click) -911, what's your emergency? -I was swimming in this pond when two ducks just came out of nowhere ... -Who is this? What is your name, please? -Ummm ... Bubbles? See what I did there? I made it funny!
chloec16 0
no comprendo?! ^
jewban 3
damnnnn guurrrllllllllllł
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^^ Oddest thread I've seen in a while.. And I feel compelled to call BS.. If I'm not remembering incorrectly.. The ****** doesn't actually become tight when you lay off the sex.. It becomes tighter only when nervous.. Lack of sex doesn't make it tighter over the course of time, because it only becomes "loose" when aroused.. It's a muscle after all.. Working that muscle is more likely to make it tighter, not inactivity. Wouldn't a gynecologist know this? Then again, she was probably joking, rendering the above statement to mean a simply ignorant OP.
Currentlyonfire 4
<insert sexual innuendo.>
BenD0VER 0
I'll loosen you up, OP.
sixtimessix 0
39 comment was funnier then yours 64. try hard
lildevil963 0
lol
tj79 3
hey I've been single for a while OP :)
Sirin_fml 47
You can call him an obvious retarded duck ****** tinder, but not the word you used beginning with an "f".
tweetbaby14 18
26, when it comes to FML, yes it is a crime. one that will make others flame you to no end about it... don't joke on here.
earljonez 22
I'll hit it
MajorSchnitzel 0
86, in your endo!
HereToRuinFun 16
A ****** can't loosen. It's a muscle. Damn.
stingray112 24
False
oliver86 8
second and lol
supasxcprincess 0
hahaha oh how embarrassing! I would've died
TheFlyingLampie 4
Heylo :P Your Cute :) x
supasxcprincess 0
aw thanks:)
TheFlyingLampie 4
Your Welcome :) How are you? I'm Kris btw :) xx
EightInchNails 9
^Chances of procreation are slim, sir.
ChrisSG 0
oh snap!
TheFlyingLampie 4
They sure would be if that's what I was aiming for lol. maybe it's just nice to pay someone a complement :) you don't happen to live on Evergreen Terrace by any chance?
Wersome 13
Yeah she lives at 742 Evergreen tce
TheFlyingLampie 4
not her, I was meaning EightInch
EightInchNails 9
No, no, no. The Grassy Knoll...
generalfubar 0
muff cabbage, f*king muff cabbage lol
dudeitsdanny 10
Wtf? Why did I get moderated? For saying I was tempted to say BS, and saying why? Do admins only read the first words and disregard the end? Cause I very clearly stated I was probably wrong. Sure, let's moderate that instead of some of the arguing and off-topic talking.
theporkchop 0
makes me want apples.
cozzybear 0
ur gonna die.....of aids if u dnt keep those legs closed
strandy 2
I'm pretty sure you could get by without a boyfriend...
TheFlyingLampie 4
Yeah, play with yourself, enjoy it :) Or go buy a rabbit :D and enjoy your new toy :D
elmorous 0
it would appear that she has ...
tookietookie123 5
Yeah, by playing with your pussy............. Cat
blocparty 0
are you trying to find a lesbian companion?
scooter69 0
either you're not attractive or youre straight up prude :
boopityboppity 11
Okay, someone's going to have to explain something I've been wondering to me. How is "prude" an insult? To me, it sounds like "prudent," which means "wise" (technically, it means "Acting with or showing care and thought for the future," but that's too long), so I've never gotten why.
laden_swallow09 35
Let's look it up! prude - adj. a person who is excessively proper, modest in speech, conduct, etc. I daresay she may be… uptight? LAWL!
boopityboppity 11
Yes, but I'm still wondering why people use it as an insult.
supersparta4300 0
yea go figure, If you are a extremely modest and well mannered people see you as obnoxious, but if you are a **** you're good to go.
dudeitsdanny 10
"Excessively proper" is the key phrase here Everything is bad in excess. And excessively sexual girl is as bad as an excessively proper girl. Excess in drinking water is bad. Excess in working out is bad. Moderately proper would be a good medium.. But that's not a prude.
schalk 12
Guys, read the post again. Same for #112 and #32
boatkicker 5
Danny, you're my new favorite.
JNaftel 0
try going lezbo
EightInchNails 9
The plausibility of this statement has no merit.
PhoenixFiend 0
still a good suggestion ;)
starile 20
I don't think you understand the problem here...
lovesporks 0
Haha that's awkward!
jess2gd4u 0
better to be tight than loose honey!!!!
Draminicaus 0
Dammit Jess....You keep saying what I plan on saying. lol Guess I should work on my speed.
jess2gd4u 0
yep. lol. gotta get ya game face on!
labratory5 0
in side or out side the bed room haha
SettoFail 9
true that!! haha
hotdogcore 9
Unless you have a very good relationship with your gyno, I'd say that it was pretty unprofessional of them to make a comment like that.
ImaginaryFoe 1
It's extremely unprofessional and borderline unethical. OP needs to get a new doctor anyway because this one is terrible. No matter how "tight" you are, your doctor should be able to complete the exam. I sincerely doubt you are the tightest she's seen. That's why they have speculums and other tools.
GoingLesbian 0
Personally I'm more than close enough with my Gyno to have that kinda convo. More small-town like and personal.
RebelHeart7 0
I think the closer your are to your gyno. the better the sections will be
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I agree. I'd probably fake-laugh, but I wouldn't be amused. I'd definitely find a different doc, too. I'm usually OK with doctors joking around, and I get that the gyn could've been trying to help OP relax. An already-painful painful pelvic exam will make you tense up, leading to more difficulties and pain. But there are lots of ways that particular joke could be offensive, since it could be construed as being at the patient's expense. It's just not professional, and I've learned the hard way that unprofessional doctors aren't worth your time and money. Sidenote: this sounds like a health clinic/PP exam to me. I've had horrific experiences at those places.
amypr 20
Agreed, 12. Also, she clearly doesn't have a good selection of speculums... I mean, plenty of virgins need to get checked out!
mcsquanch 0
damn gurl u like the military type?
Brittaneyyy 0
creeper ^ you look about 50
purplemnm 9
the older military guys are dogs.
bigbadtim 7
The sic-fi guy is better.
CoachLlama 5
Ha Jim! I agree with the tone of your reply, even if I don't agree with the exact wording. After all, children will say childish things. Haven't done much yet but already know it all. Hopefully she shows more respect to her parents.
natvv 0
Nobody with a brain likes "the military type"
Jizwold 0
I hate hippies. it sucks how all the young people are so liberal nowadays.
christinebaby 0
haha ohh I do #14