Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
That was rude.
thebeautybleeds 17
Why would you even say that?
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Comments (369)
5upernova 3
What a "brilliant and proper way" to get yourself fired.
arak_fml 7
Awesome, thanks for the laugh dumbass.
emochicksrule 1
Judging by your profile thingy , you're a really nice person. ( in case it wasn't obvious I was being sarcastic and please don't call me a bitch for saying it. I actually thought it was kinda funny.) :)
polkadot88 0
Wow.... he's not asking you to babysit again!!
CallmeNighthawk 3
sounds like the beginning of a glorious porno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill be checking redtube for a while.
RinaVampire31 18
Damn, you gotta chill. They were probably joking.
joncole 6
Good dry humor op good one but a little rude to get hired again o well ftl
csand1969 0
He was trying to be funny...he failed. You were trying to be a ****...you were successful.
mikede420 0
Why would you post something gal like that on FML. What a ass!
missalice0306 19
He better not have paid you; I wouldn't have
VampObsessed 16
Wow people. Shut up! The dad was being an idiot for talking bout stupid trident layers. What if he wasn't joking? You guys weren't there; you don't know the context of this story. OP's comment might have been a little uncalled for, but jeez, they were just doing the same thing the dad was doing. Making an uncalled for comment. I cannot believe how ridiculous everyone is being. How about all of you grow up. Money is a serious issue and employers should not joke around about it. OP earned the money and shouldn't have to listen to stupid 'jokes'. FYL OP.
missalice0306 19
The dad was probably making a joke, which was nowhere near as uncalled for as the op's comment. Even if he wasn't joking, you don't just tell someone who's about to pay you about their grandmother inhaling cocks. A simple "no" would've sufficed. This little idiot fully deserved it. F the dad's life.
drewbeez 0
#181 vampobsessed or however you spell your name. You really look like an ass. Anyone who thinks telling their boss something like that is ok is retarded. Of course he's joking, nobody(thats not an idiot) would take that seriously. Your telling us to grow up when you want to be a vampire...fags
lex1459 38
You're just as dumb as the OP.