Today, if I try to hurry my wife out of the house before she's ready, she yells at me and we end up not going out, and yet if I leave her to get ready for as long as she needs we are ALWAYS late for our reservation, so we lose the table and she yells at me for not telling her how late we are. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife is angry with me for lying to her and “treating her like a child”. Knowing how long it takes her to get ready, I told her an event we were attending started an hour and a half before it really did. Even with the extra time, we barely made it. She still thinks I’m wrong. FML
Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, I yelled at my husband for staying out till after 9 and not having done any of the chores. He turned round and yelled right back at me for letting him sit alone at the restaurant, getting sympathy from the waiters, because I clearly forgot today was our anniversary dinner. Whoops. FML
Today, after an argument over my timekeeping, my boyfriend bet me that I was incapable of being ready to leave the house by 6:30 to get our theatre seats. It got to 6:35 and I was rushing to tie my shoes while doing my lipstick when I heard him put the car in gear and drive off without me. FML
Today, my husband asked me to meet him at 6 for our date night, but I ended up being 45 minutes late. Turns out he predicted my lateness and had booked the restaurant for 7, not 6. He knows me so well, but sometimes I hate the smug smarmy bellend. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML
Today, I got home at 7 after a long, stressful 12-hour shift. The second I walked through the door, my wife said, "Can you hurry up and make dinner? We're all starving." This happens all the damn time. FML
Today, I have accepted that if I try to spend time with my girlfriend, she will come up with any excuse to avoid me, but when I want to do something by myself, she will be at my elbow every ten seconds, loudly whining that she wants to spend time together and that I'm mean. Talking has yet to fix anything. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Go to the restaurant by yourself, and if she catches up, she can eat. If not, she can starve and sleep on the couch!
Crowned Sataness 12
tell her it's for an hour before it really is
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Comments (9)
Crowned Sataness 12
tell her it's for an hour before it really is
titaniumedge 8
She'd probably yell at him for being patronizing when she found out.
RichardPencil 32
Go to the restaurant by yourself, and if she catches up, she can eat. If not, she can starve and sleep on the couch!
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Tell her what the time is without nagging. If she shouts at you for not pushing her to be faster, don't put up with that crap. Remind her that she's an adult now and you did remind her, if she can't be ready on time that's her error, not yours and you aren't going to accept the blame.
wrenavery90 12
So make the reservation for 45 minutes later than you tell her it is.
poopface82 25
Came here to say just this. This is how it needs to be.
IantoJones_fml 30
I had a similar issue with a dear friend. Sometime when you are NOT going anywhere, gird yourself and bring this us calmly and without any attack. Explain that you are between a rock and a hard place, and possibly say exactly what you say here. Communication is the only answer.
Bubbles_the_klutz 9
the best fix here is to just not tell her the actual time of the reservation, or put a large clock wherever she usually gets ready at
kitten79TX 5
Stop being a pussy and put your foot down. Make the reservation. Tell her what time it's for and tell her if she's not ready go by x time that you'll just go without her. Then go. Or... make the resevation for later, but tell your wife an earlier time. so, make it for 7pm, but tell her it's for 6. Your wife is extremely disrespectful. Teach her this lesson, or live with it. You've allowed this behavior for so long that she thinks it's acceptable.
1known 34
Tell her the time without hurrying her.
Grumpy Jack 27
Best way would be like everybody says : Tell her what time it is and what time you need to be somewhere at and that if she's not ready, you'll go without her. Just say it once but make sure she heard it. Now, my way would be : "Get your fat ass in gear, ol' bitch or I'm gunna call Emily (or any other hot girl you know your wife might be jealous of) to join me out, tonight !"