Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kickazz16 15
That was rude.
thebeautybleeds 17
Why would you even say that?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (369)
looloothing 9
He was obviously just kidding. That means you are obviously a tight ass who can't take a harmless joke.
Ashlee0715 8
Are you just stupid? Or do you like to piss off people you work for?
chels1994 11
You're one of those people who think they're funny but they're just some dick who has stupid remarks towards innocent jokes. Congrats.
BubblyNinja13 0
That may have been too far...
mbrooks5110 0
Did you perhaps think of just saying no?! You're rude!!!
Sugah_Shane1 2
Yeah definitely went way over the line there
leh9 2
Why the hell would u say that u jackass
babyzann 0
Watching your gran inhale a **** can be so highly amusing!!! How's that feel, bitch? You ought to learn some respect n manners. I'm srsly doubting if you have any, just ANY proper upbringing.
spongemuffin 0
That's not ok. You are a bitch. Why would you ever think it's ok to disrespect anyones grandmother? You wouldn't be allowed near my children.
bubo_fml 11
I might be a rat bastard, but even rats are cunning in being despicable!