Miss In a relationship
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML
Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML
Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML
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