Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum because I asked him to put away the leftovers from dinner. Yeah, because I guess me going to the grocery store, then preparing and serving the food AFTER working a 10 hour day wasn’t enough. Thanks babe. FML
Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML
Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML
Today, I told my husband that as I wasn't hungry, he had to cook for himself. He rang my Spanish stepmother as a joke to complain that I’m not wifey material. She showed up, whacked me with her Chancla, and browbeat me into cooking. He feels hella guilty, but he’s still a dead man once she leaves. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I told my soon-to-be-ex that he never does anything for the kids, and hasn't contributed a dime. He showed up with a half a gallon of milk and a box of cereal. Not what I meant. FML
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Top comments
mssileas 25
Leave him be - he won't starve, he's a grown man, despite not acting like one.
whiskey'swino 15
Instead, he is acting like one of the kids.
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Comments (21)
whiskey'swino 15
Instead, he is acting like one of the kids.
crazycrochetlady 12
I'm wondering if OP is married to a very large child.
Nikki K 10
so you married a five year old?
RichardPencil 32
If we won’t eat his dinner, don’t give him any dessert, if you know what I mean. I hope you know what I mean, so I don’t have to mention coitus.
manb91uk 22
Way to avoid that pitfall buddy, proud of you!
mssileas 25
Leave him be - he won't starve, he's a grown man, despite not acting like one.
slytheryn 14
Masculinity has died.
cptncuttlefish 24
...pouting? Is he 5? Sounds like you just have an extra child.
sourgirl101 29
Well, tone is important. “Watch our kids so that I can cook for YOU!” said in a snarky way can easily send the message I’m cooking so you better be grateful. No thanks. I’d rather eat a PB&J when I’m hungry.
tounces7 28
I think a lot of people who haven't been in a relationship with a toxic person might not understand this. It's entirely possible that OP could treat her husband really badly and that's why he's resentful. I know I've been there before.
Phillycheeze 20
May I suggest putting him over your knee and spanking him?
Yudith 28
Next time, ask your children to look after your husband while you cook. They look like the most mature of the lot.
saricaste 21
Throw him out for a couple of days, let him fix his own food. What a big baby.