Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML
Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
That was rude.
thebeautybleeds 17
Why would you even say that?
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Comments (369)
friedeggyolive 7
Goodness me, take a joke. It's not like he was ACTUALLY going to pay you in gum. I'm surprised you didn't get fired on the spot for that crude and sardonic response. Have some respect for your employers--they are the ones paying you, after all! YDI
autumnleighf 0
How is this even a fml?
AMart65 5
Nobody pays me in gum :( ......
perdix 31
For a male babysitter to tell a girl's dad that he has an oral sex fixation is a career-limiting move. I'm not saying an oral sex fixation is bad, letting the wrong people know about it is.
friedeggyolive 7
Someone's got their panties in a wad... XD
tommyfox 19
OP is a male. I'm confident he has no panties in a wad.
friedeggyolive 7
...That's the insulting part..
tinydanzr 6
Why the heck would you say that?
Froggirl14 0
You're not getting that job back. Especially around little kids. Take your inappropriateness elsewhere.
Captain0bv10us 0
That's uncalled for...and weird
emochicksrule 1
I LOVE your pic it made me laugh!
onecrazybitch 0
This is by far the wierdest FML I've read...
Lexiebear27 10
Mmm Trident Layers.