Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
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Top comments
RougeRamirez 8
Apparently your mouth
gideeupp 9
Lol not quite Daddy's little angel anymore.
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Comments (218)
lelo007 11
I'd never be able to look my dad in the face again. Good luck not dying of embarrassment, unless your family is just that open. Makes me turn beet red to even think of that situation happening to me.
zuelhater 7
So. How do you come back from that?
kkillaj 5
You never do. You go through life haunted by that memory
anencephalic 14
Hey, maybe 25 meant to say that her dad would be scared for the rest if his life, never daring to ascend the stairs of his own home.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Not only did you have sex while your dad was in the house, you felt the need to loudly discuss the sex you just had while he was there? YDI
doctorhook86 25
I can't not favorite this FML.
IAmFromTacoLand 14
Haha sucks you didn't see that one cumming;P
alexNEX 7
Your an idiot. I can't even think of something witty to say because of how stupid she was. I hope her bf stayed there and faced her dad like a man.
Abfootball 1
That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while! I'm pray for you ;)
madib1998 2
I dont understand why so many idiots have sex in the same house as their parents
hadrian2012 2
Because few round people can afford a home. And as advanced as our society is we are still biologically wired to have sex at a young age when we are most fertile, humans are not designed to wait till they're older
simonsaysYDI 8
And humans, much like rabbits, are driven completely by instinct and have no ability to control their urges.
measday21 5
Ydi for yelling it out! You should have waited till your bf got back!!!