Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
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Top comments
RougeRamirez 8
Apparently your mouth
gideeupp 9
Lol not quite Daddy's little angel anymore.
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Comments (218)
CammyMC 5
Haha you did that to yourself...next time wait for the person to come through the door instead of yelling out!
Le_Anonymous 9
That's why you don't say things like that.
the_true_batman 10
I read this today before work, and remembered it a couple times at work and it made me hard every time. That's one of the hottest things I've heard, I usually think dirty talk sounds awkward / forced. Too bad you said it to your father, I bet he had the weirdest boner.
irishpotatoes 5
What does YDI mean?
the_true_batman 10
Your Dink Itches
bladedrose 3
You deserve it
kylelove 8
You Dumb Idiot aka YDI
Dracoboxer357 36
158- *Sighs* Not very good with acronyms, perhaps? :p Ydi stands for You Deserve It....just like the vote button. So go ahead.....make the logical leap when you're thinking of asking what FYL means. ;)
MrBoredomioo 18
You deserved it.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why would you let him cum on you? That's gross if you ask me. Ugh...YDI
the_true_batman 10
You must be fun in bed.
lovrgurl12 2
Totally embarrassing.. Make sure you know whose comin next time
Unibear 1
Im sure he tried to fill them all.
88vivera 9
Of coarse it was ur dad
NicoleAshley10 0
Next time you should make sure who it is before you say something like that because you never who it could be as you just learned
tbone522 1
LOL fyl