Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
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Top comments
RougeRamirez 8
Apparently your mouth
gideeupp 9
Lol not quite Daddy's little angel anymore.
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Comments (218)
hellproof023 6
Why would say something so slutty where your dad could POSSIBLY hear.. Ydi
Seethatguy 3
Your Dad must be so proud.
dolphins_penny 5
we don't know how old OP is, but when we visit his parents or my parents we don't have sex a the house out of respect, and even if its okay that she had sex it was very inappropriate to scream out something so obscene. have some dignity, you make all women's sound like ******. ydi, and I am coming to the assumption that your underage and having sex, so shame on you, I feel bad for your father since he heard that. completely destroyed ur image for him.
katie1989 9
Dont have sex in your parents house. Ew YDI
Twisted_Angel 17
Where in this post does it say she was in her dad's house? How do you know the dad didn't come over to fix something, and the boyfriend let him in? You people jump to conclusions way to easy. FYL op, that really does suck!
_wraith 15
I think that would have been added in there if that were the case. If the father didn't live there/she didn't live at home and he (the father) was suddenly there it would have definitely been added. "Today, after having great sex with my boyfriend, my father came over unexpectedly." Yadda yadda yadda, you get the point.
fatou_fml 7
Fix what??? The hell are you talking about she was having sex at home before he came he would have mentioned that in the story
tsent8 15
Yep the hole in your dads heart after he heard your comment
mykelinva 4
4-that is the funniest statement in this website I have read so far! Thanks for making my day!
_wraith 15
Why would you even THINK about yelling something like that in a house with more people than just you and your boyfriend? YDI jackass. It's one thing to be caught by a parent, it's quite another to not only announce it to the house but in a totally "classy" way.
robertar 3
Oh my god, poor you! I hope the sex was at least worth it
Iniezian 18
This isn't really your FML as much as your dad's. You'll probably get off with some punishment or restrictions you'll forget all about eventually. And given the fact that you've been having discreet sex with your bf, you'll probably still be able to find a way to see him even if you're forbidden. It's your dad whose basically punished forever Poor daddy will NEVER be able to unhear his little angel saying that.