Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, I released a noxious, unforgiving fart in my cubicle not thinking anything of it. You know, one of those sulfurous clouds you get the morning after a few good beers. Moments later, my manager walks in to talk about work. It's 7:30 in the morning, no one else is around. FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I was tutoring. When my kids were finally working on their own, I stood in my classroom’s doorway to talk to my boss sitting outside about upcoming work. Suddenly, one of my students sitting directly behind me let out the loudest fart ever. I think my boss heard and thought it was me. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
No clever puns this time, I feel genuinely sorry for you OP
MrSassypants 34
If they smelt it, they dealt it, so really, they should be apologizing to you.
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Comments (53)
A07 48
No clever puns this time, I feel genuinely sorry for you OP
then000bster 16
Couldn't think of a good pun? You just got to let it slip out at the right time. Just not when 3 chicks walk by.
aruden 25
I agree #1, I feel sorry for this poor bastard.
rocksmith 15
That must really stink
BrewmasterK79 12
Damn, talk about bad timing. Sorry OP
MrSassypants 34
If they smelt it, they dealt it, so really, they should be apologizing to you.
TheKingOfHearts 19
In s
mick3446 15
That stinks when that happens
Sangue0608 26
I'm pretty sure that's the worst pun I'll read all day.
AbtractAngela 17
Please stop trying so hard(:
PatMcGroin12345 11
Ask if they smell that too.. Then tell them there must be a gas leak. Blame is off you,
Brandi_Faith 34
Blaming it on a gas leak isn't a good idea because then the fire department would probably be called in, which would be a huge waste of their time. But op could blame it on someone that "just left." The good thing about girls, op, is that we tend to ignore farts and pretend we don't notice and that nothing happened. We don't want it pointed out and embarrassed when we do it, so we don't point it out and embarrass when others do it. They'd most likely never bring it up; whereas if some guys had walked in, they'd have definitely pointed it out and embarrassed you. It's a shame guys can't ignore it too seeing as it happens to all of us.
gracehi 33
Hey, maybe they're into that. You never know. ;)
olpally 33
Sarcasm or not that's horrible... :/
TenebrionHZ 5
I feel like your profile pic was judging him.
gracehi 33
Clearly I've been among dirty minded sailors too long.
enginsteve 17
this works for me.
aj9319 16
If they figured out its you, they will remember you for long.
Zappaz 32
He did work alone in that room all day, so I'm pretty sure they'll know it was him XD
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Reminds me of that episode of spongebob where he had the really bad breath.
SirEnigM0nk 22
I feel you...those farts can be sneaky bastards indeed! Damn Taco Bell!
gopi_fml 23
well when u gotta fart u fart.as simple as that, and if someone make fun of you the give them a sting at there office