Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
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Comments (124)
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
Wait, so... After 20 minutes of being at the party, the people who had been blocking your driveway had left, and instead of walking one house over, you walked 5 houses down so that you could drive your car home? With that kind of idiotic logic I'm glad you got pulled over.
j4gerb0mblitz 6
he couldn't park in his own driveway so he parked elsewhere and after 20 mins he decided to drive his car back to his OWN driveway rather than leave it on the street 6 houses down.
ooshrooms 1
Was the party so lame that you had to pound beers to stand being there for just 20 minutes, or are you such a light weight that 3 beers gets you bombed and you were ready to pass out that quickly?
pinkpooh123 0
Should hve walked or waited
christopherlove 0
The math doesn't add up. Six houses down and 30 feet away? That means each property is roughly five feet wide. I don't think YDI, these other posters are assholes.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
That was one of my first thoughts too, but I'm assuming he got caught after 30 feet, he didn't make it the whole way back to his house.
guitardedman 0
haha i drove like 3 miles drunk last night and didnt get shit...sorry that 3 beers in 20 minutes ***** you up so noticeably. you are a lightweight though
xHaniffax 0
you should be shot
cherrybollosm04 0
and your proud of this? wow your life is pathetic
toomuchinfamaysh 0
haha. way to be a winner
queencitystoner 0
ya douche
skyryder07 0
you guys arent very smart... he said he drove from work and his driveway was blocked. but its pretty sad that you couldnt walk to your house and wouldnt your driveway have still been blocked?
christopherlove 0
Moron, the OP said he was coming from work. You think he left his *blocked* driveway in order to park down the street? Try reading, it helps. Also, some people have driveways more than a mile long.
rob8625 0
I don't think this is real number one if you had 3 beers you would be at .06 which I believe is under the legal limit. Number two the cops wouldn't pick you up if you were driving 30ft.
Ebby 0
Actually, 3 beers is sufficient to get one drunk, depending on their tolerance, their height and weight. Also, cops *would* pick you up for driving 30 ft if you were driving poorly enough, or if they happened to see you drinking prior to entering the car, or stumbling drunkenly to your car.
propserity 0
DUI="Driving under the influence." DWI="Driving while intoxicated." You only have to be impaired to be charged with DUI. Impairment can occur with any number of drinks (or with medications), depending on the driver.
Bumlove89 0
Actually, you're charged with a DUI if you have over a .08 BAC. Less than that you receive a DWI.
Insert_Wit_Here 0
**** you, #19. That's really all I can say here, you douche bag.
toomuchinfamaysh 0
I find it funny that your name is Insert_Wit_Here, yet all you can say is "**** you."